Stay Or Go?

I have been dating my boyfriend for 8 years now.  I am 22 years old and I would like to be married by age 25.  I would like to start a family not too long after that.  This is my dream!  My problem here is that my boyfriend doesn't believe in marrage, and does not know if he wants kids.  He is a great guy, yeah, we have our disagreements but he understands me.  He's sweet, but definately knows how to push my buttons.  I am deeply in love with him, and want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with him but I don't know if I can overcome not getting married or having kids.  What do you think?  Should I stay with him or go?

princess3123 princess3123
22-25, F
2 Responses Mar 25, 2010

Yes, I am going to tell you about me, but maybe the story will be useful. My former wife did not want kids when we were married, decided that she did some years later, and is immeasurably happy that she did now. <br />
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Point is that people change over time. If you love this guy enough to be with him without kids, then that is enough. Same goes for marriage. If he changes his mind later, great. <br />
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If not, remember you must always live with yourself. If you really want those things and the alternatives he wants are not acceptable, then you know what you should do.

To be honest, I think if you stay you won't be happy. Perhaps there's a possibility where he might change his mind but I don't feel that's the case here. It seems he is very set with his thought about marriage and perhaps he thinks you may change your mind about it too. If it is your deepest desire to get married and have children and the man you're with doesn't share that vision then I don't really see the point in staying with him if it isn't to progress in that direction, frankly. I know that if my boyfriend (who I've been with for almost 4 years) told me he didn't want to get married or have kids with me, I would find it really hard to stay with him. I wouldn't want to force him into something his heart doesn't want and I most certainly wouldn't want to bring children into the world. There would be a lot of resentment and unhappiness. It's a recipe for disaster. But easier said then done, right? Think this through and God Bless :)