Can Anyone Please Help With Tips?

Me and my husband have been married fore about 5 years. I seriously do not think our marriage could be any worse than it is.

I want more than anything in this world for my husband to care more about our marriage. I could write a book about the issues we have and all of it put in a nutshell is that he is controlling in some aspects and I wish he would put more effort and dedication to me and our children. 

Neither one of us has friends really, and his are not a part of my life. he likes his own friends to go play tennis with while I am stuck at home with our kids. he works full time and I work from home. 

When we first met, things were amazing and we went through physical abuse for about 2 years and things have stopped. Also, he no longer is romantic, refuses to talk to me, and I really think he is up to something but honestly have no way to find out. 

He does not like my family and we have tried going to marriage counselors 3 times now and he has decided we no longer needed it yet our marriage continues to get worse and worse. Can anyone help me? 

All I want is a romantic husband that wants to spend time with me. Date night has never been a part of our marriage and he does everything in his power to not sped time with more or talk about problems that should be talked about. 
leeonnas leeonnas
26-30, F
2 Responses Nov 18, 2011

i am sorry to hear about your ordeal. I am not sure what you meant by saying you" went through physical abuse..." I honestly believe that two happy households are better than 1 unhappy one. some women stay in a bad marriage for the sake of the kids. It is wrong,, because you end up resentful, angry, unhappy, less tolerent, impatient, etc... kids deserve better. If you meant he physically abused you, then RUN. Not worth it, no matter how young are your kids. You do not want something bad happening to you and your kids being raised by another woman! <br />
You are worth it. you deserve a better life. yur kids deserve better environment anf happier household. You seem to be intelligent and resourseful ( you said you work from home...) so, have a strategy and make your move. do not sacrifice any more time with him.<br />
Wish you the best

I'm so sorry sweetie, you sound like a nice person whose life is unfulfilled in almost every way. It is my opinion that you need to start working on getting job skills for the inevitable divorce. Plan ahead, do it now while he'll still be paying for classes or whatever. Just get yourself a way to make a living and give yourself time to grieve the end of your relationship. He does not sound like someone who is at all interested in family, so get out young while you still have some energy. Sorry, I know this isn't what you want to hear, but in my opinion, the spiral from physical abuse to barely concealed anger is dangerous, for you and your kids, so start making plans for a better future.