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His Addictions Are Taking Over

After 16 years i have finally confronted my husband on his addictions which include a sex addiction but at this time i am also confused about that. I recently discovered that he had placed an add in a site searching for married women who were tired of the monotony. the site read life is too short have an affair. Is this what we encourage others to do. He wrote that he did not wish to change his situation just add some excitement he even wrote we can talk about our kids and significant others and see where we go. I am SO angry words can not describe. He says this does not mean anything to him it's all a game he can't help it. I also spoke to him about the difference between him watching ***** and placing an ad. About a week ago he admitted he had a problem with on line stuff but after agreeing to seek therapy the day of he backed out. I confronted him about that too how even if he did not go for his alcoholism which only less then a month after getting out of detox he already is drinking more than a six pack a day. After he refused to go to therapy I told him that this is were I got off and that he was to complete all repairs in the home so that the house can go up for sale. After discussing why he acts this way and how his behavior affects me he said he does not care. I was in therapy at one point and he joined the therapist did point out to me that his behaviors have nothing to do with me. The problem is that they are hurtful and I feel that he does not show any feelings about how i feel. why does he not care about our marriage of 16 years why is he not trying I am angry about that. I also at times think why am I angry that he does not care about our marriage or me so let it go this is for the best but my thoughts return to that hurt and wanting him to make me feel better about his behaviors. 

JReddz JReddz 36-40, F 2 Responses Oct 3, 2008

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you can spend your life trying to get him to show emotion, but if he is drinking heavily the chances of it happening are slim. <br />
as hard as this may be, and i know how hard it can be you need to make him relise that you are serious, kick him out for a bit, see if that has any effect, if not then you need to work out what you want from life, and if he fits in with that. <br />
if not you have to admit defeat step out, and see if you can find a man who is deserving of you and your love. <br />
if you ever need to talk hun i am more than happy to listen. <br />
i know how hard it is to pull away from a man you love, but you dont have to do it alone, and maybe not at all. <br />
((((hugs))))))) joss.

you can spend your life trying to get him to show emotion, but if he is drinking heavily the chances of it happening are slim. <br />
as hard as this may be, and i know how hard it can be you need to make him relise that you are serious, kick him out for a bit, see if that has any effect, if not then you need to work out what you want from life, and if he fits in with that. <br />
if not you have to admit defeat step out, and see if you can find a man who is deserving of you and your love. <br />
if you ever need to talk hun i am more than happy to listen. <br />
i know how hard it is to pull away from a man you love, but you dont have to do it alone, and maybe not at all. <br />
((((hugs))))))) joss.