Ideas For A Dom Wifethis was written by a friend/co worker.
The Occasional Dom Wife
By Mistress Lisa
It doesn’t matter if you’re trying to fulfill your husband’s fantasies (most men do fantasize about being submissive) or you are the one pushing for more fun in the bedroom. Both reasons are good. I for one believe if a man likes to be punished then he should be and a woman’s fantasies are just as important as his. But this is about the how to not the why. Just make sure you are both on the same page about what you’ll do.
1. Getting started. How do you decide to start your play or scene?
• Use code words. He could come up and hug you from behind and say “I love my Mistress” and you’d know he’s in the mood.
• You could have a code or, being the dominant, just tell him to get ready it’s time. Call him from work and say you’ve had a crappy day and he’s going to make you feel better. Or advise him he did something wrong and punishment is coming.
2. Stopping. When do you stop or go easier?
• Pre arrange. Discuss it before hand. Especially if you are going to tie him or restrain him in any way.
• Have a signal word. If he’s begging you to stop how do you know he’s serious or just playing the scene? If he says the word “umbrella”, or another prearranged signal, then stop. Something’s wrong.
• Some people use the stop light method. Green means more or harder, yellow means that’s about all I can take and red means stop. I don’t like this method because it lets him have some say so into what’s happening but you may think differently.
• Stopping could happen when you’re both spent. Or, if you’ve lived together long enough you just know when you’re done. Just remember, you are in charge. Short of a problem it’s over when you say it’s over.
3. Pain. He expects it. He wants it. And will be able to take more over time.
• Spanking is typical. Use something besides your hand. Belts, wooden spoons, dowel rods, riding crops, etc. Or, tell him to carve you a paddle. You can have him bend over, on his knees, or lying on the bed. But, the best way is over your lap like a child. It’s more submissive.
• Nipples. Pinch or twist them. Buy nipple clamps or use old fashioned clothes pins.
• **** punishment. It’s the center of his world so don’t neglect it. Tools to use are wooden spoons, rulers, belts, riding crops. Hit the head for the most pain.
• Balls. You grew up thinking that hitting a boy there is the worst thing you can do. Not true; ignoring them is worse. My sub actually likes for me to kick his. I do suggest not using hard implements here. Slap with your hand to start. When that’s not enough move to a balled fist or your foot.
4. Humiliation. For some men it’s more powerful than pain.
• Never refer to his privates except in a derogatory manner. Give his **** a pet name such as “Wee Wee” or “Mister Little”. If it’s too big to do that then say things like “I’d like it better if you knew how to use it.
• Talk about how much better your other lovers are and what you do for each other. They love this even if he knows you’re making it up.
• If he can’t take the pain you give call him a wimp, *****, sissy boy, cry baby.
• Make him wear panties to work or when you go out.
• Shave his crotch.
• Still using toilet paper when you pee? His tongue feels better and it won’t hurt him.
5. Equality. It doesn’t come from equal pay. It comes from a man being penetrated regularly. Men are used to being in the power position during sex. It’s why they want to be submissive. Show him what it’s like.
• ******. No explanation needed.
• Strap on ******. My favorite. Make him suck it and beg for it. He’ll love it when he gets used to it. Start small and work up.
• Butt Plugs. Pacifier shaped ****** that won’t fall out or go too deep. Make him insert it if he wants sex (humiliation). Have him wear it while doing house work, cutting grass, shopping, etc. For real fun make him put it in then get dressed to go out. Have him sit on a barstool or hard bench while eating. While he’s squirming you can make fun of him or threaten punishment if he doesn’t hold still.
6. Other ideas. There is any number of ways to play.
• Have him worship you. Especially your crotch. He should orally please you regularly.
• ****** denial. Make him please you then say you decided not to do anymore. You decide if he can ********** or not.
• Buy a chastity devise. He won’t be able to get hard much less ********** until you unlock it.
• Get a kitten collar and a leash. Put the collar around his balls snugly but not tight. Lead him around with the leash. It works better if his hands are tied behind him. Tie it to the bedpost and make him stand there while you **********. Or use it to hold him still while you spank his ****.
Have fun. Be careful. And get creative with your domination.
safetyguy 51-55, M 3 Sep 1, 2012