I Need My Wife To Obey Me

I have decided that I want my wife to completely obey me.  I want her to love me, worship me, respect me and be completely submissive.  We have discussed this at length and after two years of arguing about it back and forth she has agreed to do this and suddenly says she really wants to do this.  We both believe this will make our marriage stronger becasue it takes away arguing and vying for power.  When she obeys me, I treat her like a princess.  I am a very loving and generous husband most of the time.  However I believe a wife should obey her husband.  My wife is very strong willed and independent but we both agree there can't be two heads of household.  I am demanding total obedience.  When I tell her to do something I want her to obey me without complaint, question or pushback.  She needs strong training and I'm willing to do this.  I do not want another man to physically do this.  We are doing this because we believe in traditional marriage and that a husband needs to maintain complete authority and control in the home.  For my part, I give her ultimate protection and security, I love and adore her immensely and I take care of her.  My wife works and I am willing to let her continue this with some restrictions but at home I want her to do as I say without question.  I'm looking for ideas on how to train your wife, and I mean really train your wife.  We had an argument the other day and my wife completely disrespected me and this has to stop.  She finally came to me and said she needs limits and wants to give up control to me.  I've been very controlling and she has been submissive in many ways, but she had not totally given in.  I thought nothing was reaching her but she was becoming much more sumbmissive and just fought me hard whenever she felt like she was losing control.  I want her to be mine completely. I'm looking for specific ways to conduct successful training including how to make her obedient, less independent, more submissive and to learn to obey without question.  I'm asking for advice on punishment methods that have worked with you.  We are not used to this lifestyle yet so we aren't comfortbale with all the devices, at least for now.  But I would like to hear how some of you Masters and Dominants were able to successfully break your Slave and Submissive so they you owned them. I can say for sure that we need something routine and consistent because although my wife wants to do this for herself and for me, she has trouble just submitting without punishment, humiliation or discipline. 

DominatemyWife DominatemyWife
46-50, M
9 Responses Apr 8, 2010

First things first, you must put her NEEDS before your own. That will build trust with her. The next thing I did with my wife is write out a contract telling us both what I will be in the relationship, what she will be in the relationship and the punishments that will occur if either of us fail to uphold our end of the contract. I think the next big thing I do to train my wife is I have her say out loud to me, from a humble position, a mantra at the start of the day and a different one at the end of the day. I change bits of it from time to time but it always includes her saying "she is not in charge of her Actions, Choices or Body". I call those her A,B,C's. The key to a successful mantra is that she says it NO MATTER WHAT! No matter if one of you is out of town on business, if she is mad, upset, if you are arguing, if your dog died... NO MATTER WHAT! This will eventually get her in the state of mind where she believes that no matter what is going on in life, her plight in this life is to submit to you, NO MATTER WHAT! Those are the very basics, there is a lot more to it than that but that will get it started. One last thought, YOU must be SUPER CONSISTENT! That will make her have faith in your word. And I'm talking about being just as consistent as the sun rising! It's gonna rise, I have 110% faith in that. She needs to have 110% faith in what ever you say, is just what you are going to do.

My wife obeys me without question. I have told her that disobedience means a spanking, and I mean a real red *** spanking. She understands this and to this day she has yet to disrespect me. Maybe you can tell your wife that any disobedience will earn her a spanking.

Maybe she isn't meant for you then....
If she doesn't want to submit then you shouldn't force her.....
Now if she was totally into the idea, I would help ya out... but this sounds like bordering on abuse....and that's coming from a long-time submissive BDSMer....and someone who has seen horror stories under the name of "religion".

Try some internet searches as they can lead you to information and tips from couples already leading this lifestyle. Many people focus on punishment and discipline for transgressions as a way to train a wife to obey, but on the flip side, rewards for good behavior are a great way to promote good behavior. Many couples also use dog training books to gain inspiration in training techniques. But I would have to say rewarding, and praising good behavior is extremely important in getting results. Knowing that I have pleased my husband and have made him proud are huge motivators for me in striving to do my best. A simple "good girl" when I've done something well makes me feel jubilant. A good place to start is coming up with a list of ground rules and expected behavior. When you encounter a task that your wife has trouble completing or a rule she has trouble following, ask her why she has trouble with it, then make a plan together to help her overcome that particular road block. I'm guessing part of her hesitation comes from the pre-programmed response most of us have to protect our feelings. Be firm but gentle and know that submission is difficult to adjust to. Best of luck to you and your wife.

I'm only 21 but when I am married I want to totally submit to my husband. I want his word to be my command. I have the honor and the blessing of carrying extremely voluptuous breasts- they're a good reminder to me that my body does not belong to me, but to the man I will one day answer to. Anywhere I go I see men staring at my bodacious breasts and I remember that as much as I want to be flat-chested sometimes that God has given me these mountains to please my future husband. I am not in control; He is! I will wear whatever my husband wants me to wear; I will give him sex multiple times a day (or however much he wants it); I will never ****** or ********** out of respect to him. I must remember that God is in his ***** and it is an honor to have his masculinity explode into my body. I shall love him like I love the Lord. Submitting to my husband is submitting to my Savior!

Do you believe mortal men are Gods?
Do you believe your husband is your Savior?
Beware of false idols honey.
There is but one lord and Savior and he isn't anyones husband.

I thought I was the only one! I'm glad to know I'm not left out

You and I will wait for you sound like amazingly great ladies

Youre damn lucky I aint your wife, I would cut your nutsack off and feed it to you while sodomizing you with my 12 gage shotgun. Guys like you are whats wrong with the world, you all need to be shot and thrown in a hole to rot. Women should never put up with this crap. If i am dating a man and he display any of these tendencies, he is GONE, no questions asked. Too many nice guys out there who agree that marriage is a team effort, not a monarchy. **** religions that try to make women feel inferior. Like I said buddy, you are VERY lucky I aint your wife, very bad, vile things would happen to you. When you die, Im sure the devil will be waiting for you with a big hot devil **** for you. Rot in hell.

I believe if you expect this sort of thing from her then you MUST be very good to her. Treat her like a goddess buy making dinner for her, giving her massages, running a bath for her, buying her very nice and expensive gifts like diamond earrings and expensive restaurant meals.<br />
This is a GIFT she is choosing to give to you, and it is HARD, she must check her self respect and ego at the door. Try to imagine yourself obeying her...THATS HOW HARD IT IS! Please remember that she can choose to take this gift back if you do not APPRECIATE her. Be willing to sacrifice your life for her if you expect this in this day and age. GEEZ this is why I love YOUNG men, they don't expect such NONSENSE!

This is the nicest and most refreshing answer, to this kind of thing that, I have ever read. :)

Thank you so much! :)

Young men dont want submission and obedience from their wives???? My husband and I got married at 17 and 18 and he is now 21 and MOST certainly wants my obedience and submission!! And I am pleased to give it to him... I absolutely agree that it is a gift that can be removed, as I agreed to a dd lifestyle 2 years ago and my husband told his sisters (which we agreed he wouldnt) and it ended. Immediately. 2 years later I decided I still DO want this lifestyle, but things are different now. He has a highly stressful job now, with long hours. We now have two young kids instead of one, and he has shown me in the past two years he can and will do everything in his power to put my happiness before his own. He does everything and more for me and our children. He knows discipline is a private part of our lifestyle. In "this day and age" he was a teenage parent with me, married me, is happily raising our children with me, has always worked his heart and soul out to provide for us, has in 3 years only ONCE hung out with his friends without me, because he knows it would be unfair for me to be taking care of the kids while he enjoys himself. So if he puts this ridiculous amount of effort into being an amazing father and husband, why should I not put just as much effort into being an amazing wife. And if I am the one who brought the idea of disciplining me when I fall below his "standards" (which he has never once complained about the house being messy when he got home, nothing, ive always stayed at home with our kids because i WANT to) then why should anyone have objections to my lifestyle? This day and age young men dont often stick by their mate and their childrens sides. And that is terrible. Way worse than telling my husband he has the right to spank me if I break rules we have both agrees on.......

In my experience, most young men believe in equality as they have been thankfully raised in a culture that encourages and embraces equality between the sexes.
Each to their own, but if a guy ever expressed to me that he expected obedience and submission from me he would have been dropped from my life like a lead balloon.
You say you are happy and that he treats you well and I hope you are but if obedience and submission is the price a woman has to pay for love and affection well than the price is too high, I'd rather be single.

1 More Response

I am a woman in the same situation as your wife. I do truly want to submit and do well at it for the most part but sometimes I fall back into ugly habits. My husband wants my obedience and is getting pretty good at demanding it rather than asking for it. He is loving and kind and I trust him completely so I sometimes I just don't know why submission comes so hard. The only thing I can figure is old habits need to be replaced with new habits. We have discussed what aspects of obedience are important and put them in order. We choose one or two things to work on together. As soon as these two things become easy and more of a habit they become a punishable offense and we move on to the next item on our list. We are just kind of easing into things. So far my punishable offenses are: 1. not standing to greet my husband with a kiss when he enters a room, 2. wearing underware at home, 3. touching myself or climaxing without permission, 4. Neglecting my household duties, and 5. Failing to present my body ready to be used nightly. He may not choose to use it but it should be ready and given to him nightly. Ready means, clean shaven, long hair down, butt completely cleaned out. Believe me he will check and the greatest punishment comes at this time for transgressions. Preparing and presenting myself to him is the best time of day for me. <br />
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Good luck with your new lifestyle. It is well worth the effort. The closeness gained from both dominance and submission in a mutual relationship is unbelievable. I am happier than I have ever been and learning something new about my husband and myself nearly daily.

Hotbabe: you disrespectful jackass. Refrain from referring to women as *******. You owe an apology.

bro it's easy. use a knife or another sharp ob<x>ject. your wife will be yours to command if you use a knife

You're such a ******! He want to control, NOT hurt her.

Control is hurting, it is abuse.

Control is not abuse. In my relationship my man has lots of control over me and my behavior, but he does not abuse me. He never tells me to do anything that would hurt me physically, mentally, or emotionally. Before creating any rule or or asking for me to complete any task he is sure it is on my best interest. He always puts me first and communicates openly with me asking how I feel and what my opinions are. He never makes a decision for me with out considering my feelings. This type of relationship isn't for everyone, but for some it is the only way. And while I am submissive to my man, I am otherwise a very independent and dominant woman when dealing with other people. My husband enjoys this aspect of my personality, knowing that it takes a strong woman who knows herself to become willingly submissive. Its completely OK to obey your husband as long as he puts your best interest first. Don't judge what you don't understand.