How Does a Woman's Mind Work ?

Here is a perfect scenario.

We (average married couple) are both good looking for our age (40). Attraction from others has never been an issue with either of us. We are lucky we have always been considered very attractive and in great shape. We had some friends that started swinging a few years back and I must admit it did NOT work out well for them. He would tell me some of their adventures and of course I was envious. It is only natural to listen in envy to stories about him and his wife inviting other men and women into their bed. Unfortunetely it all ended (the marriage) when she started cheating (behind her husbands back) on him with one of their boy toys.

Anyway this was a few years back and my wife and I kind of sat on the side lines cautiously and watched to see what came of it. Well with the outcome of divorce it did not seem very likely we would be giving it a shot any time soon. Although I was disapointted I accepted her decision to decline any possibility of this adventure happening to us. Then there was this one night when we had a few drinks and were both very turned on and she whispered in my ear "Tell me one of your erotic stories". I have a very erotic mind and she often gets more and more excited during sex if I tell her tales of *********, foursomes, etc. Well this time she totally let loose and as I told my story she played along with it saying things like "Oh god I wish he (the other man) was really here", " thinking of having four hands on my body gets me so wet", then just before she started to climax she screamed out " would you let him **** me, Would let the other man **** me". I played along 100% telling her to pretend I was the another man ******* her now. She came like never before, I mean a full blown, head to toe ****** that was just short of a heart attack.

Feeling like our fantasy really helped drive our sex life to another level I asked her what she thought about the possibility of making it a reality. Which I was sharply met with a NO, NEVER! I asked her why and she refused a real explanation she just continued to tell me what I already knew about friends getting divorced. Again I just backed off and figured maybe she needs time to think about it. It was obvious the mental idea of it is a turn on to both of us but she seems to make it a point to SHUT ME DOWN anytime I enquire about it. so I put the idea back to rest.

Again blast ahead in time, We really have a great sex life and one of our favorite things is for me to tie her up and perform oral and various different types of foreplay on her. She loves being "not in control" when she is turned on. Well after over an hour of foreplay and her having multiple ******* I had her tied to our bed posts, She was covered in sweat and dripping wet. I slid inside her and started to **** her. I know her body well and know what I need to do for her to have a great ****** with intercourse. As I was ******* her again she asked me to tell her a scenario of a *********. It was hard for me to say no considering my very sexy wife was tied to our bed, soaking wet and wanted to *** as much as I did. But I did get aggrevated by her (it is okay as long as I initiate it) attitude. But how can a man not want to give a woman everything she needs in a moment like this? I took one of the silk scarfs off the bed. This is what I tied her up with. and blinkfolded her. As I did I started telling her about the other man waiting outside our bedroom door. I continued with my fantasy saying he was waiting until she was turned on enough so he could come in and we could both **** her. She totally got into it when I pulled out of her and walked over to the bedroom door and opened and close it just for the audible thrill of it. I continued telling her he was there watching her nipples poke out hard from her lingerie as I slid myself back inside her. My hands always rubbing her breasts as our fantasy continued. Then I remembered she had a pretty big vibrator she liked that was hiding on our closet. My imagination took over. I pulled out again, went to the closet and got it. It had no batteries but I didn't care. I continued to tell her his **** was getting hard watching her squirm. She loved the mental stimulation. Then I got back between her legs and started to run it along her soaking lips. She wondered what it was, I am sure the rubber was not as warm as my **** was.  Once the toy was wet enough I started to slide it in her and say "here he comes baby, All 8 inches of him" She let out this low grunting sound as I slid it into her. It was obvious she knew it was NOT me inside her. Once she fitted that thing inside her she started to go nuts on it. I mean my hand held it in place but her ***** just twisted and grinded it. I asked her how she liked ******* another man. She started out just moaning, Not really putting full sentences together but I knew it was all good what ever she was saying. Then as my own **** started to feel the need to explode I crawled up beside her on the bed and laid my **** on her lips. She moved her head a bit, still blind folded and opened her mouth, while still pumping herself onto the ***** my hand held firmly. Her breathing was fast now and I knew she was going to come soon. So I took my **** out of her mouth and let her breathe without me in her mouth. "Do you like his ****" I  asked her "Oh my god yes" she moaned out between deep breaths. Her hips still gyrating side to side, up and down. I waited for her cry out in another amazing ****** but instead she asked it "he" was going to come. I pushed her ***** deeper into her and told her " he is ready to come right now" she again moaned, in a grunting way and said back to me "IS he going to come inside me". Then I pulled him back just a bit then slid him all the way in and said "Oh yeah baby, feel him starting to pump it into you now". "Oh god" she screamed "Is he coming inside me,, Oh yeah, oh yes, oh yes" as her ****** just tightened her body I felt the ***** sliding from her ***** muscles squeezing down on it. I couldn't hold back and I grabbed my own **** and started to shoot my load all over her face and hair. I had no control at this point, Just watching her and thinking of her loving and accepting another mans **** made me come so hard. As her body wound down we fell right asleep. again it was another amazing orgams.

Next morning, I say to her, That was awesome last night. She shoots me a stare and say "you made me sore". I say "it wasn;t me it was him" she flips out, No it wasn't it was you, yu and all YOUR fanatsies,,, blah blah blah.

Okay sorry to be so winded here.  Flash forward to last night. We are laying in bed, It has been a few days since we had any fun. I pull up beside her and start to caress her *** and breast. I kiss her neck and say "want to hear a fantasy tonight?" She flips out again and says "can't it just be about you and ME !!!!!

Okay so I guess my point here is do any of you guys feel this way as well. Like it is okay when it is her decision to fantasize, experiment, explore but when you approuch the subject you are treated like some sick perverted husband ?

Would love to hear from some of you people on this topic.

mymission mymission
36-40, M
18 Responses Feb 11, 2008

It sounds like ye have amazing sex when ye do fantasise about it so maybe you should just be happy with that. But as for it only being okay when it suits her! I think next time she asks you should politely refuse. It is possible too that your persistence in bringing up the idea which she clearly does not want for real is bugging her. Maybe if you never bring it up but only enjoy the fantasy side of it she would be more willing to let you initiate the fantasy talk because her fears of being pushed into doing it for real will be gone !

att least you got that far!!! LOL My wife won't even cuss in bed. She drops the F bomb like it was going out of style. But not in the bedroom.................. She thinks it's bad to have fantasies. I've asked her but she always says she doesn't have them. Yeah right. I'm pretty much down with anything. Just can't her to open up.

I am 46 and my wife is 44, like your wife my wife had always rejected my fantasies as just something we both enjoyed while making love and she wouldn't think of actually trying any of them. I wish i knew why but i had always wanted her to tell me about anything she had done sexually while growing up. Even little things that she would share like being felt up at boy/girl parties made me hard as a rock.Over the past 3 years she has started to change after lots of coaxing on my part. I would love to hear more about you and your wife, i have her read these stories from time to time when they ring true and I would dearly love to experience more.

Funny here.. I;ve assisted two men in this same situation. The wife like fantasizing about it but wouldn't go any further. In both situations the husbands and I set up a plan to "accidentally" bump into them while they were out for the evening.. Each of them had somewhat greased the wheels by engaging in light foreplay enroute to the lounge... (Hotel lounge near a major airport..) .. as agreed, he kept telling her that every guy in the lounge was checking her out.. (makes her feel special).. after a bit of time, the husband comes to the bar and "bumps" into me. We feigned knowing each other in front of the wife.. etc... Then I got invited to join them at their table as I'm solo and staying at the hotel after a business meeting. Throughout the night.. a bit of harmless flirting then progressing to taking turns dancing with her.. her relaxing and showing off a bit more skin... Only one of these occasions ended up with an intimate encounter that night.. the other took multiple visits to their city for a "happy ending"... Four years later, I'm still friends with them.. visit them when i'm in town on business and even might just spend an evening in conversation with them versus a sexual encounter. The city is Baltimore, the airport is BWI. Bill in Va.

Absolutely, my wife is somewhat similar to yours it seems, maybe not as bad but similar. It makes you crazy because you can never tell what is really going on with them and if they ever mean half of what they say. we have some hot sex on occassion and role play as you described, she seems to like it but only when she is in the mood for it. Keeps a guy totally confused.

Your story is almost identical to mine. We are mid 40s, pretty attractive and enjoy sex. She has never been with anyone other than me. For the past 15 years when we have sex, it's all I can think about. She has enormous boobs and the hottest legs. Frankly, the best I have ever had (out of many). I have tried to convince her that I simply want to "share" what I have and enjoy her enjoyment as well. She did admit once that "if" she did, it would have to be out of town with someone we don't know. She enjoys the tied up scenereo just as yours does. <br />
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My wife acts the same way! In the middle of foreplay she changes, and mention a big fat **** going in and she will gush juices all over the bed. But don't bring it up at any other time cause she don't want to hear that!<br />
I wonder if that is the hormones?<br />
I feel your pain dude!

usually women love the fantasy in bed but afterward want to slip back into reality. Most wives are more than willing to play with other men but he thing that is stopping them is what broke up the other couple you mentioned, most of the time the guy cannot handle the reality of his wife ******* another man and it freaks him out or eats on him. Women know this and will avoid it at all costs. You have to convince her that you are good with it. Usually your scene with the ***** works to do this, I'd say do it again, talk it the next morning until she starts to remember it favorably. Then set up an accidental scenario preferably out of town with a stranger.

I've been lucky enough to be involved with two wives in that situation. It has to be a perfect combination of setting, her mood, the other guy and possibly a cocktail or two! Good luck with your pursuit!<br />
Bill in Va.

When you figure it out, let me know.

There can very posibly be a right time and a right place--and a right person--- but if I were you I would take what I had and leave the rest alone.<br />
There are all sorts of possibilites and situations that might work to get your fantasy accomplished but it has to be her fantasy also.<br />
You are going to need a perfect combination of the right guy and the right situation and she is going to have to be the one to let you know what that combination is.

good story wife was a little bit shy at first ,but finally loosened up 1 night with a friend of mine ... man he did put the meat to her an she loved it.since then she has been with sevral of my friends

My situation is different in that my wife used to swing with her ex husband and enjoyed it she said. I keep asking her to let me watch her with another guy, and she keeps saying it ain't gonna happen. I think the problem is that when she used to swing, she was in her 20s now she is 50ish and probably thinks she would not be attractive to men. I'll just keep trying. <br />
Ed in VA

Great story. I think a lot of guys that have this fantasy get into this same situation. This is a dangerous road for a serious relationship and women know that. They do not know how you are going to react the next day. They do not know how they are going to react the next day. Hell, we men do not not totally know how we will react. I believe most women who fantasize about this with their spouses want it just as bad as their husbands do, but they are scared of what could happen later. I think if you start off slow and let them get acustomed to the idea and slowly build on it, over time you might get what you want. The thing that scares me the most about it is the fact that most of these women who do go through with it, will end up cheating and decieving their husbands because of the excitment it brings. I would love to hear thoughts from people on this subject male/female. Email me.

I know exactly what you mean. I watch my wife get attention from other men, and she loves it. She will dress the part when it is her idea, but if I ask her to go braless or dress provocatively, she accuses me of wanting her to look like a hooker (which is true sometimes), but out of the blue she'll say "do you think this is too revealing" (as if I would think that) as she forces on a tight little black mini, and it's fine cuz it's her idea. So now I need her to come up with the idea of having adventures beyond our own bed. Just wish I could find a way to make that happen.

I liked your story very, very mjuch - it was better in a lot of ways than the ones where there is 'really' or even really another man. - and you told it so well, too (e.g., the bit about making a sound with the door...)<br />
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Of course I don't know the full ins & outs of your lives - I just wonder if she simply gets off on the 'not being in control' bit - a 3some (fantasy) that just 'happens' is one way of 'not being in control' (maybe for us men that's a very big part of it, too...)<br />
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Sounds like your real beef isn't so much not being really able to have a ********* as for it to be your turn to 'not be in control' - that your wife should pull her sexual weight in the relationship and make it so you're 'not in control' for a change. Maybe you should simply tell her - that you want her to initiate sex when you yourself are least expecting it, to 'force' her left-field fantasies on you. She might poo-poo it but if you persist raising it over weeks, she'll probably 'jump you' - sooner than you think...

I don't think that I would have mentioned it the next day or any other was a fantasy...mentioning it maybe ruined it for her in the not mention it again.....wait.....maybe she will get high and horny in the future and suggest not mention it afterwards....maybe this will help?

lol, I don't know all that much about the subject, but I wanted to leave you with this thought. Women read those Harlequin novels for the fantasy, but it isn't what they want. Just a thought.