My wife and I seem to be miles apart on this subject and I curious to hear from others who have either;

a) broached the subject and enjoy this type of sexual play, your experiences, how you got started and what barriers (if any) you as a couple had to overcome

b) are wanting to engage in this type of activity but are too afraid to ask.

As for me, this has been a huge fantasy of mine for a long time now.  Am I bi or, since I have no attraction at all to males, but I do understand about and enjoy the feeling of having my prostrate massaged and played with through my own exploration during ************ sessions.  My wife does not quite understand this, and seems to be hung up with the notion that me wanting to be anally pleased equates to me jumping the fence to the "other side".  I have explained to her that this is not the case, and yet there is still a lot of doubt.  

She did agree to wanting to try this a while ago, and when I finally got the courage to go out and buy a strap on, she freaked out.  Needless to say I felt an incredible amount of rejection and this is causing a good deal of strain in our relationship.  What I don't get is the fact that its okay for me to use toys, vibrators, etc on her so that she can get ultimate pleasure, but when it comes to me....the subject is taboo.  Is she being selfish ?  Is this a fantasy I need to let go of and forget all together.  I'm kind of considering doing this outside of our marriage, but realize that this could be a disaster.  Help !  I don't know what to do ? 

maraman maraman
11 Responses May 20, 2009

Guys, I think the biggest problem is you waited to explore this with your wives. Perhaps you didn't discover how good anal stimulation is until you were a little older. Had you you tried to explore this while you were dating/pre-engaged your success would only be limited to your perseverance. Any rejection of the idea (or 'you') from a girlfriend is far less detrimental then from a spouse.<br />
This way you can pick and choose, and bide your time for when to unveil the less-vanilla kinks. Sometimes this leads to pegging, some girls you just never tell certain things. One 'trick' you might try is to bring something up and if you get a less favorable response, blame it on an ex..."oh, one of my exes was into it.'<br />
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Some advice for people in relationships they don't want to leave...1st & least likely to work (and even if it does work, it could backfire and explode in your face)...try to setup a situation where you and your wife actively seek out another girl to peg in her place...she can set rules and boundaries, yada yada, even if you have to get pegged in a bag with just a hole for the *******, at least it's progress...2nd...use ****. Good, pre-screened **** with nothing that totally 'derails' her. Think the femdom aspect will help? go there. No? Use the more sensual pegging stuff. Maybe hetero anal will work. Hell, maybe shemale, bisexual, or gay **** will get her in that mood...roleplay, a masterful roleplay could turn a girl who's comfortable with roleplay to one who's comfortable with roleplay and pegging...lastly, maybe your lady would be susceptible to withholding. I hear marriage and age already kill the sex drive, let alone derision in the relationship, but maybe withholding sex all together or perhaps certain parts of it can help. Ideally, your lady likes toys or anal play on her and you can withhold something that really highlights the hypocrisy of her not toying with you...but lets get real (and truly Machiavellian) if you have it in you and know how to toe the line, your quickest, easiest, best bet is withholding attention, affection, and money.<br />
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Hopefully that helped

my wife and i are also miles apart ... I sincerely want to explore this, because I myself have found how amazing prostate stimulation is... Of course I naturally would love to get my wife involved..<br />
but she has no interest in this at all. she has told me no, and that she doesn't want to try it at all....<br />
so right now i have left it alone, but i still have a strong desire to experiment with new things with my wife...<br />
we have talked on multiple occasions, but I don't foresee her changing her mind any time soon...<br />
we played around a little with another toy a couple times, and she said she enjoyed it, but later has said she doesn't want to do that stuff anymore... <br />
If you love her, you have to respect her wishes...and just hope that later on her mind opens up...

ive had gay sex a few time and was always the reciver. i enjoy giving head and rubbing myself. im not gay i just had a good understanding with a good friend when we couldnt get girls some nights. he knew of my pegging fetish and he was a full blown bisexual. my wife knows of this and now is very reluctant to peg. she thinks im still interested in men. ive tried telling her im not into that but she dont understand. when we do peg she calls me *** and *****. and dont get very into it. and its the cherry on top of her fear when i ask to give her a good blow job? any advice?

I too would really like my wife to do me regulally, but is a a litlle relukant have use a strap on a couple of times. But she will use a butt plug on me regularly, as we have discussed that it increases the senativitly and intesive of my orgamsm. As I said she uses a plug on me pretty regularly and I do like it, But still leaves me wanting more. I do like the feel of her tapping me and feeling her, As I want to fully submitt to her and be hers.

my situation is similar i told my wife i wanted to be pegged. she didnt think i was gay she just thought it was really weird. she has no desire to be anally penetrated. long story short we bought a ******* and she used it on my twice. the second time there was a little blood on it. nothing out of the ordinary just needed more lube. or warmup time. she freaked and will have nothing to do with my *** again. now i wish i wouldnt have told her cause its all i can think about. she can be playing with my balls and all i can think about is how disappointing it is that she wont go lower. our sex life is seriously lacking in excitement and frequency usually once a month sometimes up to 3 times a month. im like you i have toyed with the thought of going outside the marriage but i know i would never cheat. it just gets so agrevating.

My situation is exactly like yours... wife loves for me to pleasure her anally (and I enjoy doing it for her), even to the point of performing analingus (*******?). But when I make a passing suggestion that I would enjoy similar stimulation, she is freaked-out and repulsed. I, too, have played with myself in this way a great deal, and know just how much I love it. I would be thrilled for her to **** me with a strap-on!! But instead, I feel resentful and hurt, and am starting to feel as though I need to seek satisfaction for this need outside our marriage. I always thought that men were the homophobic ones, but now I can see that women are just as bad, if not worse. Damned tough situation to be in, isn't it?

Yes I did repeat myself sorry about that . Thanks for you answer.

nowolder your story doesn't seem consistent with a couple of the groups on your experience list. What's up.

I'm trying to get my wife into pegging me. I have voiced interest but she wants nothing to do with it, she thinks it is a bit gay. She is also into me being in the dominant position (aka: I have to persuade her to be on top). Any advice to get her into the idea and wanting to peg me?

Forgot to mention, I am not BI or Gay we have been married for 15 years, we just wanted to try something diffrent, and I'm glad we have

Dont know if this will help, but here is my story. My wife first mentioned it and I was reluctant, but did not dismiss it. I googled it and found lots and lots of advice and info on the subject, I started with a finger then two fingers, then went for it with my wifes rampant rabbit also using loads and loads of lubricant!! Now we have purchase a strap on from Ann Summers and await my wifes pleasure any day now. If you can hit your prostrate you will have the best orgasum EVER, just keep broaching the subject occasionally with your wife, show the info on the internet, am sure she will eventually if only to shut you up! But once she has done you and she gets that feeling of power there may be no stopping her!