Am I Being Petty?

The other night,as I was coming home from work, I was caught in a stand still traffic. I was particularly in a hurry that night because I was suppose to meet my husband and toddler son in the mall for ice cream. I wa very very frustrated that for over an hour, the vehicle inched its way at turtle speed. I kept texting my husband that I was getting angrier by the minute. Finally, when I figured I could handle walking to the next main street, I got off the vehicle and started walking. Of course, since it was night and the place was dark, I refrained from using my cell. At this point I have to mention that I am a writer and editor of a weekly TV program.  That night was my deadline so I knew when we got home I had to stay up and work. My frustration was that I tried to get home early, speed through the commute so that I can spend a few minutes with my husband and son. The plan was all messed up because of the traffic. I was awfully tired, hungry and sleepy (as I stayed by til 2am that day). Finally, I reached the main road and rode another vehicle to the mall. It was so hot and I was feeling so sticky I totally forgot to text my husband that I was on the main road already. The jeepney decided to wait for more passengers so my frustration was already building up. I got down, walked some more and rode another one. Finally, I got off and crossed the street to go in the mall and meet them. I was relived ... finally some aircon, finally some seats, finally some food... finally my two boys.

When I got in the mall, I saw them waiting at the food court. I tried to erase then tiredness in my face and plastered a smile.  I was about to retell my ordeal to my husband when the first words that came to his mouth were accusing questions of "why were you not answering your phone? I was calling you!! I was worried, you don't seem to care that some is worried for you!. I told him I didnt hear the phone as I was walking and really couldnt bring it out even if I heard it. He continued, "Even then, you should answer your phone! I didn't know were you were!" I told him, that I was sorry and I was really tired. I begged him to stop berating me for now. But he was still talking and accusing. I was about to flare up as well so I just took my sonn, turned my back and bought him ice cream. I was really fuming inside. At the corner of my eye, I saw my husband, with theangry look on his face, following us. I fed my son ice cream as we were walking out of the mall to get a ride home. I didn't talk or look at him. He gave me dagger looks and turned his back as we sat side by side on the ride home. At home, he plopped to bed and read his magz, while I cooked dinner, tutored my twins, took care of our baby and worked all night. He didn't eat dinner and did  not ask me to. I lost my appetite and just worked til midnight.

The following morning, we were still not on speaking terms. I put on a blank expressionless face, he had that morose disgust.

For me this is too much.... granted that I was not able to answer his call, shouldn't he at least try to see how tired and frustrated I also was?

Am I being petty?
josadelcielo josadelcielo
2 Responses Jul 6, 2010

Sounds so much like my life! I finally had enough when he blew up over a look I supposedly gave him & threatened me. That was just one thing to many after nearly 17 years of never being able to please him. I decided that day that I had to get out. I started a list: "What I Won't Miss When I Move out." In five minutes I had filled two pages & had more to come. I hope to be moved in a few weeks - just leave a note on the table & move out while he is at work! I have a crew of friends ready to help! Just waiting for my place to move to be available! <br />
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You need to get out, honey. You just won't believe how much peace and happiness making that decision will bring to you. It won't get better. In fact, he will get worse. I have been living your story for years & every year it is worse.

wow that really inspires me to want to make a move to get out as well...because just like you said mine has DEFINITELY been getting worse in words I cant explain....

Hes threatened me, punched holes in doors and threw and punched things and then said it was to keep from hitting me....I still gave him chances WHY I do not know...wait yes at that time I still wanted to believe he was actually going to 100% change..

But its always the same story mostly....he sees i want to leave, he says and acts like he will change a little then if i take him back he acts 10x worse than really like yalz imput on my story n stories Ive put on here...

also i wish i had friends like yours who'd be ready to help me move out or something along those lines....thats my main fear is that if i divorce him he will flip out and break my stuff that ive worked so hard to get....(almost every thing in this house ive bought)

No you are not being petty. You deserve the ability to make a mistake and while not answering your phone can be deemed inappropriate from his stand point. It warranted no more than a comment or a question followed by in the future would you please try to answer. Sounds to me like he is mad about something but I almost guarantee that it isn't the fact that you didn't answer. That's just another reason added to what he was already mad about and as good as any reason to fuss. I think that litle things shouldn't matter and the fact that you worked all day only to come home and work to is wrong. He should be more appreciative of you . But at the same time, you are just as wrong for allowing the silence to continue. You are a strong woman. You could have just as easily confronted him.