I Want Out of This Marriage
I'm still soul-searching for an answer to how to get away from my toxic marriage.
The "Paper Marriage Solution" still looks viable, but it's open to negotiation out of fairness, leaving me vulnerable to finding an alternative with no notice if it fails, or worse yet - drawing me back in to the dynamic of what I'm trying to put an end to, which isn't *really* the marriage, I love my wife madly and it breaks my heart to feel that I must put her in my past - but I can't stand living with this person who only SAYS she feels the same for me and never acts like she really means it.
Then I spotted a comment from someone else here that has the same "trapped by kids" issue I do. While reading it, I realized part of that feeling comes from the fear of cutting the line in an already-broken home and freefalling - it would mean I (or we) don't have a solid foundation to stand on so the kids can be looked after and nurtured and cared for properly, except by the other parent.
But the manacled-by-kids debate belongs elsewhere. Let's say some - or most? ...of us are feeling too trapped by the situation to really escape clean without causing unintended collateral damage to ourselves and/or some loved ones. Then there's the fear of the unknown, of being alone for the first time - possibly ever, or maybe for years.
Then the idea hit me: what about a "divorce buddy?"
Hmm. Not an affair, although any of us starved for intimacy might relax into it but just a partnership. A way of building a platform to stand on for a while so we're not really freefalling at the end of a bad relationship. It might help us to overcome the fear of striking out alone, or not having a stable life to care for children with... The more I think about it the more it sounds like a good, workable idea.
Any thoughts? Anybody local to me agree, maybe?
The "Paper Marriage Solution" still looks viable, but it's open to negotiation out of fairness, leaving me vulnerable to finding an alternative with no notice if it fails, or worse yet - drawing me back in to the dynamic of what I'm trying to put an end to, which isn't *really* the marriage, I love my wife madly and it breaks my heart to feel that I must put her in my past - but I can't stand living with this person who only SAYS she feels the same for me and never acts like she really means it.
Then I spotted a comment from someone else here that has the same "trapped by kids" issue I do. While reading it, I realized part of that feeling comes from the fear of cutting the line in an already-broken home and freefalling - it would mean I (or we) don't have a solid foundation to stand on so the kids can be looked after and nurtured and cared for properly, except by the other parent.
But the manacled-by-kids debate belongs elsewhere. Let's say some - or most? ...of us are feeling too trapped by the situation to really escape clean without causing unintended collateral damage to ourselves and/or some loved ones. Then there's the fear of the unknown, of being alone for the first time - possibly ever, or maybe for years.
Then the idea hit me: what about a "divorce buddy?"
Hmm. Not an affair, although any of us starved for intimacy might relax into it but just a partnership. A way of building a platform to stand on for a while so we're not really freefalling at the end of a bad relationship. It might help us to overcome the fear of striking out alone, or not having a stable life to care for children with... The more I think about it the more it sounds like a good, workable idea.
Any thoughts? Anybody local to me agree, maybe?
By:
iamunlovable
Age:
41-45
,
Male
