Living In a Marriage Without Intimacy

How to begin, well I'd like to say that things weren't always so rough at home.

For the first few years then her parents were getting ill and eventually passing on, but through it all I was always beside her but I noticed that she was slowly pushing me away, maybe I was trying to be to consoling and comforting.

I can only assume that maybe there is something wrong with me to make her feel that I was causing her hardship, anyway lately she has taken to calling me names and hurting my feelings on a regular basis and when I ask her not to do this she gets demeaning and saying what you gonna do if I don't and being verbally abusive.

Then when I try to tell her that I'm tired of being humiliated and made to feel less of a man she gets abusive and says things like if you don't like it where you going to go?

You got no one but me who cares in this world.

I told her before I was unhappy especially when she gets abusive, lately I have been playing video games to occupy myself and to escape the reality that after almost 26 years togethor that its going downhill lately.

I talked to my mom about it and she said she's likely going through a change of life and to be patient, but how can I put up with the abuse?

I feel that verbal is the cruelest of all abuses because it scars on the inside, where no one else sees it.

mrmidwestern mrmidwestern
4 Responses May 3, 2009

Document when she is abusive by tape recording and filming if you can, then during one of the episodes you have on film or tape, call the cops and have her removed from the house. Maybe that will knock some sense into her.

I am not convinced it is the "change", I think way too often that is used as an excuse, I am female.....I would just be blunt and ask her.

It's very difficult to live like this--I've been in a relationship where the cruelty hasn't always been there--the verbal--not always but many cutting comments have been made--and basically been told "if you're that unhappy I'll leave" two weeks ago on Friday--I was given the ultimatum--and truth be told--accepted it--now after 30 years of living in a not always bad--but-certainly not a good relationship--I'm taking the "bull by the horns" and moving on---we raised a wonderful family together--and now he deserves to be happy as well as I do--is it going to be hard--you bet--but personally I'm tired of living the lie--at 51--I figure I still have a good 25-30 years left in me--and I want to completely without question enjoy the rest of my wishes to you as well.<br />
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Midlife can be difficult for allot of women--is it used as an excuse--I think so--did it change me--oh yes--now I'm growing from it.

Your mom could have something there. You said married 26 years, that sounds like about the time a woman can start having her hormones go apesh*t. Look into that aspect and if that's not it or it is and your wife doesn't want to be treated in any way, and counseling isn't working, drop the video games and walk out the door. Find something fulfilling for yourself.