What Did I Ever Do?

shower love ,kindness on others but without expecting them to return the favor . and live yr life ..

Thanks....



I can see the point in all that you two are saying, but it still doesn't explain my ***** of a neighbour who stopped talking to me out of the blue and now pretends I don't exist. I am not perceiving anything but dislike from her when she behaves that way.

I am surprised that I am not the most jaded person on the planet. Why I am ever able to be receptive after all the shite I put up with is beyond me. But I can't help it, I guess, because deep down I am just NOT a bitter person... I always seem to hold out hope. *sigh*

The bud stands for all things,

even for those things that don't flower,

for everything flowers, from within, of self-blessing;

though sometimes it is necessary to reteach a thing its loveliness,

to put a hand on the brow of the flower,

and retell it in words and in touch,

it is lovely

until it flowers again from within, of self-blessing

~Galway Kinnell

That's why you do it a little at a time, my dear. :)

Thanks, Miss Dee...



But, opening my heart(40 years of observance on that one).... Usually gets it shattered. :-/

People who are highly sensitive, like us, process things deeply, and our downfall is in assuming too much, and focusing inwardly to a high degree, and not enough outwardly. In other words, we are actually thinking of ourselves instead of the other person, putting the spot light on ourselves, and assuming others are doing the same, judging us constantly. When in actuality it has been shown that people spend much less time thinking about others, and much more of their time thinking about themselves. And so many of us are proably thinking about ourselves, and assuming others are too! We feel constantly judged. But if you could tap into other people's heads, you'd very likely find that most of the time they're not too concerned by you. You're actually projecting your fears onto them.



And even IF someone is judging you, this is much more about them than it is about you. THEY are projecting their fears onto you.



And so, often we aren't meeting one another with open hearts and minds, we're each presenting a mask, and talking to each other's masks.



Online I think it's much easier to drop our masks and meet each other more sincerely.



The way around all this is to start looking at our own thoughts about ourselves, and the assumptions we are making about what others are thinking. When there is an assumption of judgement, we hold ourselves back, and this closing will likely cause the other person to close as well. When we remain open it puts others at ease, and they are more likely to remain at ease. We are reflections of one another.



If everyone appears 'hard and cold', the only way to melt their hearts is by opening our own. This is true courage. And it usually takes some time to work towards. Baby steps.



xo

Inside you is always the happy, curious, adventuresome, "rocker chick".



Feed that Destry and worry not what the world thinks.



I know its hard. We need others to respond to who we are. Sometimes its hard work to find the ones who do. With kids and all its hard to find the time too.



As a side comment, it seems a lot of people don't want to bother much with small talk anymore or even a quick 2-minute conversation to be neighbourly. I experience this all the time too. Funny that they can spend hours on Facebook chatting about things but not take 30 seconds to say hello. What I do is say their name, really loud, but keep walking (usually getting pulled by a dog). If they respond with anything I'll try and throw in a comment about something else. Sometimes I get a response.

I find it amazing that one negative person can destroy our self esteem. No matter how lovely we really are, that one negative will rip us to shreds. Paranoia reigns. You are a people pleaser. Middle child?

They're the losers Des, not you.

Me too!

Just pretend that it doesn't bother you. Say hello anyway. It's a risk. You are like me. And it blows our self esteem.

That's happened to me plenty of times..just the other day TWICE. It's them having a weird day. They have the option to act ..even fake a reasonable smile. I do all the time. I still smile and say hello when my day has been terrible. I don' put it on another person because I feel negative. I suck it up and present myself as an adult. They suck, you don't! Keep that in mind and kick it to the curb..Yes it can be hurtful and they suck for that as well. I luv you ..cheeky smile included my friend, Owlie.

I will try....

destry, please try to think of the best likelihood instead of always the worst .



I guess that is my theme/rallying cry right now .. with myself and my brother.



It doesnt help anything to imagine the worst outcome and in my experience if you imagine the best .. very often that is what you get ... and never the worst.

Thanks, OC :)



I had a better day today with the socializing thing. Hopefully they aren't two-faced. :-/

What is wrong with these people. I have to agree with Mary, the Destry I know is a warm and wonderful person whom I'd welcome saying hello to, sharing a cup of coffee/tea with, listening to some music with and well just sit and talk with.

I would love to see their faces, when one day you get enough courage to face them one by one and ask them why they are so rude. Maybe you find out why, maybe you make friends, maybe you realized they are not rude but the way of being, and then you will not take it personal. This will help you not feel sad or frustrated and rejected. Nobody likes to feel that way. This will be a GIFT from you to you.



If this people work with you, which does not mean you have to be their friend. Look for friends that have you same interests in life, the same outlook. Make it simple! And do not take thing personal.



I wish you luck!



Cecilia

look, u knw? sumtimes I find it so awkward to say hi to somebody I knw, I dunno why??? I really don't but doesn't mean at all that I hate their guts or wish if they just be gone... it's abt me, not them n if someday sumone asks me for help, I'll do my best for them.... so, just so u knw, if sumone pretends not to see u, doesn't mean they hate u, who knws??? maybe they think u hate them or u find it awkward to say hi to them as well.... hold, I just remembered an incident happened with me, I met this guy yesterday n I said hi to him n today while

I was walkin by I saw him but pretended not to cuz i thought he'd say " WTF with this kid always sayin hi to me????? i guess he exaggerates being a good boy :( " that's why I denied him though.... i hope my comment would help u ma'am

Des, I don't get it, you're a sweetheart. And you have exquisite taste in music ( a big plus in my book). Maybe it's like Datura said, not quite what you perceive.

It is because you like Planet of the Apes.



heeheheeeeehee



b



ps - don't worry, my princess. I shall love you.

Des, I can't even imagine this happening. You are a lovely woman, kind and funny, and a whole hellova lot of fun.



Stupid people.

I think you should go right up to them and give them a very cheery :HALLOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!'



We have a couiple of doctors who come in and ignore everyone and we just love forcing them to be nice .. hahaha :)

I have a friend who is extremely talkative, too much so to the point that it irritates people. People make fun of her behind her back. Yet she feels that everyone likes her and that she''s everyone's favorite friend. Once she was telling me about a social event that she and her husband went to and that he felt out of place because he didn't know anyone. She then said that the difference between her and him is that he feels people might not like him, but she always knows that everyone will love her. I was sort of shocked by her evaluation of the situation, because the fact is that her husband is extremely well-liked, and she is the one that turns people off even though she perceives herself as beloved by all.



I guess I'm saying that it's sometimes just a matter of perception. If you feel that people don't like you, you may see signs of that which really aren't there. And you may seem less friendly because of your expectation of rejection.

:( Really makes me sad when People dont choose to get to know someone before they can even say anything... Yenno they will never see that theres just so much more to Appreciate in Each individual...