"say You'll Share With Me One Love, One Life Time. Say You'll Save Me From My Solitude."........

i am tired, i am tired of feeling the void, tired of feeling alone in the world, the only friends i have are on this stie. i feel a distance from my family, my friends in real life.......im not even sure if any of them are my friend......i am not sure of anything anymore. this hole, this pit of darkness that i am traped in, only to be rescued by telling someone, finding someone i know and trust, that i can put all of my faith in and belive they will never tell and throw away the mask i have dawned for so many long, painful years and tell them, tell them of my deepest secret....i have a wedgie fetish. i am told to be patient, i am told to wait but i feel i cannot sit by as theise emotions curn inside me, burning bright with desire and longing only to be snuffed out again by me to hide behind my mask and pray to go another day undetected, but i cant stand it.

i want someone to notice me, not a pricipal, not a teacher, not my family, not any of the freaking jokers at my school that would pour open there guts for a monster, nor anyone for that matter. i want a girl, a girl to notice me in my moments of sorrow and pull me aside, ask me what is wrong and when i lie and say everything is ok she wont belive me and we meet constantly as she grills me about what is wrong saying she wants to know but i try to keep hiding, wondering if she will come back even though i may leave her frustrated or annoyed by dodging the question. i want to get to know her over time and learn to develope how it feels to love another and to be loved back and once i feel the time is right....i tell her. i will look down in shame shure she will either think of my oddity as amusing and laugh at me, get discusted and walk away, or tell everyone how much of a freak i realy am. but then i would find myself in her arms telling me she dosnt care and that she loves me, true unconditional, passionate love that i have never known and have lost the feeling of years ago. finaly able to throw away my mask and show the real me.....i wish so badly this would happen to me....though i am loosing faith ever time i slip into my moments of lonleyness........

is there anyone out there, anyone like me.....wanting to be recognized by another and quit waiting, hiding behind your mask and be the real you? is there anyone else out there........anyone..........anyone...........
Shadowwalker256 Shadowwalker256
18-21, M
Sep 20, 2012