I'm Not Quite Sure What's Wrong With Me.

It seems everyone I've ever been close to gets sick of me. My family isn't very open, and have never told me they love me. So when I hear it in a relationship, it's like I become reliant on the person. No matter how much I care for and love them, I can never make it last and I don't understand why. It feels like I'm always there for everyone else, but they are never there for me in return. I'm at the point now where I just want to shut myself of from everything so I don't get hurt anymore.
outhereandlost outhereandlost
26-30, M
2 Responses Nov 27, 2012

I have felt the same way before. Sometimes it has to do with your environment and who are around you. Sometimes you need a clean break and a way to start fresh. I remember my life going no where, and I suffered from a really bad break up. In my relationships I seemed to be the crazy one - the one who was extra clingy. My family never said "I love you" either and it wasn't until I found someone whose family kind of took me in did I start to model that type of behavior. (I was not actually meaning it because of years of abuse I never really knew what love was.) To make a long story short, I moved from one coast to another. I started a new life. The guy I was with didn't want me to go by myself (which I didn't really care if he came or if he stayed). I know lots of people don't have the resources to pick up and go off - but I had been living on my own for a few years and I was 23 yrs old and I thought it was worth the risk. And it was.

On the west coast no one knew who I was and the only ones that cared were employers who wanted to know how I was at my job and contacted my former bosses. (BTW - I was total crap at my former job, but I interview well for some reason despite my severe anxiety around people.) All the people around me were so different. It was a different lifestyle. And making friends with everyone was so easy.

So my point is that don't shut yourself off from the world - perhaps you just need a change of worlds? There are going to be people who will love and "get" you. I hope things get easier for you.

Thank you very much. That means a lot to me.

MANY people are NOT good in social situations.

For example my wife is pretty,kind,smart,funny and works hard at work.She has been an excellent friend to me since 1979.....but girlfriends use her because she is giving or ignore her as if she is invisible.

My wife is a very real person and she is sensitive but she will never be cool.

What my wife lacks are social skills that she never learned from her parents.I'm not much different than her but I think people are missing out on a true ble person.

The best thing to do is to enjoy spending time with yourself until someone comes around that accepts you for who you are.BUT.....it would be great if you could get feedback from past friends about anything that put them off.

People may say that you talk too much or not enough.People HATE over or under talkers.Or maybe they would say that......... you are tense and critical with people or your boring to them because you only talk about music or cars or sports.

So should you change these things ? You can change bad habits but you should never change yourself at the core for ANYONE.