He Reminded Me Of Me

I wrote this one recently. It is the first poem I have finished in a few months.

He Reminded Me of Me Written by, err... Me. :)

I saw a boy of five today
Who reminded me of me
And though time passes in a blink
The boy did not yet see
And his mind was filled with wonder.

He stared right past me where I stood
As the train passed by Santa's sleigh
A bell chimed out with a clang
Inviting the boy to come play
And his eyes were filled with wonder.

The mother tried to contain his joy
As she grabbed at his coat in vain
But there was no stopping this little boy
Who ran hurriedly toward the train
And his face was filled with wonder.

He called out rather frantically
For his mother to look and see
They smiled and hugged as I smiled too
For the boy reminded me of me
And my mind was filled with wonder.
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7 Responses Dec 6, 2011

That is a lovely poem my friend, the joys of youth and the freedom in young gestures!
You can write poetry, very good poetry at that.

I like this very much. We all want to go back to our childhood at times. I bet you were a handsome little boy. :-)

Oh yea that has happend to me too, I smile then get sad because sometimes i feel like i didnt enjoy my childhood as i should have but oh well.

ooh yea, i think we are all kids in a way. i can be sometimes :P

Great poem :) Like it very much

you are welcome

You should probably take out the word "right" in line 6, and possibly "as" in the next line. The "as" in line 12 should, in my opinion, be replaced by "but," which would mean you'd have to take the "but" out of the next line, of course. But these are all just little things to reduce redundancy, you've obviously spent some time on this. <br />
As for the subject matter... <br />
Ya, I think I know that feeling, suddenly you see where they will go and how they will change and hurt and it makes you sad? Because you don't want them to lose the sense of wonder, and whatever it represents. But then you realize that they won't lose it (you haven't lost it), it's still there underneath, and so you are glad for both of you, and the overall emotion is positive.

I think we can go back, You just did. I wrote something along these lines awhile back, about swinging on a swing and feeling a sense of wonderment. I thought too about how I miss that little girl that I was. And then I came to the same conclusion that you did--that she never really left me. She is still with me, as your little boy is with you. It is nice when you can have realizations like that in life. It is even better when you can articulate them as beautifully as you did. I love that little kid.

Tell him I said Merry Christmas.

Haha. My inner child wants an Ipad. We all have dreams.

Love it :D