My First Poem On Ep

I write lots of poems to try say what i feel and think at the time but never share before only write for me. Now i need be brave and share cos i like read other peoples poems. I hope reader likes this i will share more if this one okay not too stupid. Please remember i write in own language sometimes have to translate in english so please forgive mistake or wrong word. If not understand please message me and i try explain or make right.
Poem is called The Window

I sit looking out my window
I can see the trees moving
I can see the clouds across the sky
I can nearly see the wind
But it is invisible
And i can see my reflection in the window
Looking back at me
What can my reflection see?


I hope you like it.
yulico yulico
70+, F
2 Responses Sep 23, 2012

I have noticed in myself that in any of your writings I find a special phrase, two or three words beautifully placed one beside the other, that take the whole piece a level up. While i could characterize it as an average, I really liked the end (makes wonder and want more) and how you level up what you see, first the trees, after the clouds and last the wind (specially that, how you can nearly see the wind). It can sure improve, I believe you should work on the rhyme a bit more, it's nice to have a couple of phases that rhyme in a poem, and I overanalyzed it, but anyway, the point is, I like it!

Hi Kate is always if you write and share you invite comment criticism. So I welcome what you say/ Some times new eyes look at your words, tell you something you dont know you write.
I think rhyme come from within the idea, if it is there it gives more power but if it is forced, if it is imposed from outside the idea it take power away.
I do not write for rhyme and dont think it necessary.
Sure i can improve, sure i can be better writer as i learn more english am more comfortable with it. This was very simple idea with simple words. There are some others i write, stronger, more emotion, more anger or more love. Maybe you can read them and comment also. I would love to hear.
Are you poet? Is there something of yours that i can read?
But thank you anyway i always value thing that help be learn help me be better.
So you are already good friend to me xxx

I've shared one poem on ep, it's here http://www.experienceproject.com/stories/Write-Poetry/2387052 you can read it, maybe tell me your opinion. Honestly, I won't feel offended or anything!
Personally I like it when a poem rhymes a little, but you are right, anything forced can damage a piece of art, so the best thing is to express your emotions and your thoughts the way they come to you. Most important in poetry and art in general, for me, is to be able to show emotions, and to pass them to the audience, with rhyme or not:)

I do wonder now... What does your reflection see?

i will write more about that when i know

I liked this poem it left me curios and entertained

thank you i like write poetry help me think also help me learn english writing

I know what your reflection seen...
A moment caputered in between
reality and the unseen...
A you in a different way

read my new poem i wrote in week but just now posted

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