The Aftermath

What is this darkness that settles perched on my soul,
a bird so silent with crooked wings and razor like talons sunk deep
the unshakeable shadow reflecting it's eyes like a dark pool
these are the things I ignore, that pain which I keep.

The continuous battle that rages within,
the pain I feel, the rage I deny, the torture inside me
a constant torrent of underlying emotion
I have died a thousand deaths at a fathers cruelty.

Dearest Daddy, who kept me always terrified, and in pain
I lock it up in it's dark little box, and throw away that awful key
still, the memories linger- an ever growing, festering stain
I'm alright, I'm okay, until night time betrays me.

If ever I think to forget, the nightmares drag me backward
kicking, clawing, and fighting with everything
screams filled with an emptiness you've never heard
and emptiness really, that's the all consuming feeling.

The emptiness between my thighs , freshly raped and bleeding
the emptiness of knowing you're alone, nobody is there
the emptiness of a little girls eyes , filled with all that knowing
the emptiness of a mothers heart that didn't care.

Dearest mother, I love you, I hate you, too.
Your denial, so self serving, uncaring, and unkind
still you say it, years and years, you say you never knew
in this pain, I sit enduring, utterly entwined.

beautifullytwisted beautifullytwisted
22-25, F
2 Responses Dec 16, 2012

You are an amazing soulful woman to write a poem like this. I can imagine you have a beautiful and contagious smile.

:D Actually I've been told I do. Lol. Writing helps me get out all of my negative feelings. Sometimes I write positive poetry also, usually nature related. This is just my most recent.

that is powerful and painful thank you for sharing such emotion xx

Thank you :3