Frustrated About My 22 Year Old Daughter...

I have a 22 year old only child....my daughter, Emily, who has been very difficult to deal with. She has both physical and mental health issues going on at this time, and it has been quite unnerving at times for both me and her stepfather, Richard. I love her to death, but she has a really awful tendency to lie a lot and threaten to never speak to us again whenever she doesn't get her way....and all that I do for her (ie., taking her to her doctor appointments, buying her the things she needs, taking time out from my extremely busy job where we are very short-staffed, and helping her with her personal affairs because she has generalized anxiety and ADHD). I am really trying to help her to overcome her psychological issues by ensuring she goes to her biweekly therapy sessions with her psychologist and sees her primary doctor and other specialists for her hypothyroidism, severe lower back pain & daily migraines, obesity, severe acid reflux, and chronic UTIs, besides her female problems....need I go on? She is going to hopefully have bariatric surgery in 2013 as long as she at least loses about 20 lbs ok her own, sticks to a lowfat, low calorie diet, and gets approval by the on staff psychologist at the Cleveland Clinic Bariatric & Metabolic Institute. It has been quite a journey with my daughter these past 3-4 years since she graduated high school and moved out of the house...many trials and tribulations....and I am growing extremely exhausted. I just hope and pray that Emily's health improves so she can live a happy, productive life. Richard and I just want what is best for her and for her to be able to eventually stand on her own two feet without having to be fully dependent on anyone....more than anything, we want her to find a nice, respectable boyfriend....not someone who has anger issues and a very poor upbringing, like the guy she's living with now. He has little or no respect for my husband and I....and since she has been with him for 3 years now, her attitude has gotten really horrible and she has become even more overly dependent upon him to do everything for her, instead of allowing her to make decisions for herself. Worst of all, he tries to keep her away from me and my husband as much as possible.
lonesomeangel63 lonesomeangel63
41-45, F
7 Responses Jan 10, 2013

Wait...she's living by herself, on her own, as an adult, and you're THIS involved in her life? Coming from a 22 year old perspective: back down. She no longer needs a parent to tell her how to live her life. She's an adult now. She may have issues, but constantly bringing them up by reminding her to go to therapy and the doctor (for issues that aren't that uncommon hon: ADHD, obesity, hypothyroidism, acid reflux: this all sounds like stuff stemming from a difficult birth, and I have, believe it or not, people in my life who have ALL of these, and they are productive, independent, and happy adults) isn't helping. She is MORE than her issues, make sure you and other people understand that. Especially make sure SHE understands that, or it's going to become a crutch in her life (if it isn't already) and hold her down. It isn't your place anymore to be her parent, but rather, to be her friend. That transition is CRUCIAL to a happy, independent life for both mother and daughter (as well as a GREAT relationship!). It's also something that many parents struggle with/don't do. I'd suggest you go take a breather, take a vacation and find out who YOU are apart from your kid. I'd also suggest you go talk to a mental therapist to help you with your own personal issues. Peace, friend.

I wasn,t aware of the full circumstances I hope she realizes things on a broader perspective and eases the tention

Is she capable of living on her own? Maybe a group home with other young women like her could that possibly be a solution...

She would never do that....she's too stubborn....and she I would never be able to get her. away from her boyfriend. But, if she did leave her boyfriend, she would go live with a female friend. She isn't stupid....she's attending college currently by taking online courses. I think she's just going through a difficult phase in her life now.

But, thank you for the idea....it's a nice thought and I appreciate your input ;-)

No offense to your problem I just wasn't expecting problems but was looking for some light reading.I hope you get things worked out.

Thanks....sorry for the long drawn-out story....I never was very good at keeping it short! LOL

Why is this under this category?

Because I am a "newbie" who is trying to get the hang of using this site. Sorry.

hope this situation finds a way of working out for you,,

Thanks...I did have my daughter and her boyfriend watch "The Secret" on Netflix when I had them over for dinner on Sunday. It talks about the principles of the laws of attraction and how positive thinking attracts good things into your life....whether it be good health, successful relationships, money , or happiness.. Everyone should watch it! I think that it truly help! :-). You can also find it on YouTube. Another really good one to watch is called "The Secret Beyond the Secret" with Louise H

Louise Hays. Sorry.

thanks for the information

I don't know what kind of response you're expecting for this, but here's mine. Pray. if you're already praying, pray harder and more fervantly. Ask God for the strength to go on, the wisdom to know where to go, and the faith to trust that He will work it all out.

Believe me, I do....He even guided me to some really useful information that I believe is just what me and my daughter....and all the people I care about and love in my life....needed to hear. See my replies above to rjschoch ! Blessing to you ;-)