Looking Back

Here I am, sitting here
with this deadly weight, hanging in the air
Just a little boy at eleven years,
Scared to death, through the tears
Looking at your face,as you enter here
just confirms my darkest fears

The look you give, before the words you speak
Staring in your eyes, my knees becoming weak
and then you take our hands and pull us in so close
Your face becoming pale, like you've seen a ghost
The words you utter next cause this massive beating in my chest
Only three of them I heard, forgetting all the rest

Your fathers dead...

And my whole world came undone, shattering like glass
as I take in what you have said, thinking, God, will this pass?
and I'm breathing, hearts beating, my eyes are filled with tears
as everything is sinking in, I've now outgrown my years
In the blink of an eye, still can't believe I just watched my daddy die

So I cry, and I cry, and weep, and sob, and cry
wondering why
How could this have happened
It's not fair, I think, but don't speak
as the tears continue rolling down my cheek
And now I know, I'll never see you again
Never hold your hand, or wear your hat
never smell your scent like when you held me in your arms
because you're gone, just like that,
and I''ll still be that eleven year old boy always looking back
hoping to catch a glimpse of his dad

For you, Dad

lacedup77 lacedup77
26-30, M
1 Response Jan 15, 2013

This must have been so difficult for u to write at times, but I am glad u did. Thank u for sharing.
I felt like I was in the room with you...

Thanks for reading. It was the hardest moment of my life. If I could change on thing in my life, it would be to still have him here.