You Are Live Ammunition

You are live ammunition
You are an assault rifle
I have no body armor
You are a fire fight waiting to happen
I’ve momentarily forgotten my roots
Like my childhood neighbor’s weeping willow
Ripped from the ground during a hurricane
We drove through town the following day
It was so serene, a blanket of debris and disaster
But nothing quite so green and fresh, breathtaking
The most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen
You are my hurricane
My loss, my heaviness
And I feel like a weeping widow
Isn’t it all so magic and tragic
Like walking through a desert
Unbearable thirst
Like homelessness
There is no shelter from your storm
I didn’t call on you yesterday
I didn’t call you today
For the first time in months
In fact I scarcely thought of you at all
I should feel proud, somehow
I don’t want this kind of pride at all
For every day we were apart
I was relieved for the distance
Both in miles and heart
I beg and bargain with God
To take you out of my head
He takes his time in listening
I don’t mind, what else can I do
You never listen at all
Are you okay
I don't expect you'll answer
There you go again
And here I go, the same
I hate to think of you lonely
My stomach spins and my eyes fill up
Involuntarily
I hate the word and how it mocks me
I'm thinking of you anyway
Usually I’m fine, I swear
Until I think about the traffic report in the morning
And you putting wood on the fire
Kissing me on the forehead
It made me infinitely sad
Because I didn’t know which goodbye would be the last
Only that one of them would
If I had known I would have asked you to kiss me twice
angrawal angrawal
26-30, F
6 Responses Jan 19, 2013

wow poetry like this makes me shiver in every way <3 keep up the beautiful lines girl

thank you!

Ask around in your community, say " I am looking for a mentor can you suggest someone "?

It can be reversed....but it takes practice and possibly getting a mentor to talk to.

As in an older woman mentor.

That is something I am missing. I had a decent therapist when I lived with my fiance but it isn't the same.

Do you know what a "rescuer" is ?

I haven't heard the term in the context you are probably meaning it in, no.

Oh, I googled. You're right, perceptive. That's awfully sad. I wonder if its reversible.

I sensed that.

Are you grieving or deeply resentful ?

That is a really good question. Grieving, yes. Resentful, I'm not sure. If he needed me I would be at his side in a heartbeat so I guess that means that I am not resentful?

Is there someone you wrote this to / for ?

yes and also sent it to him, for what? I don't know. Can you tell from the piece that he neither appreciated it nor cared?