Starting With My Attitude

I once read it's personal growth that keeps you and your partner interesting to each other over time. A worthy goal indeed.

It's not that I havn't been facing my demons and growing from them. I have. At one point I remember the feeling that I just dont want to learn anymore. It can feel so hard. But I've learned patience that I didnt know I had. Endurance. Tolerance. This might be an odd one to some, but even my own opinions would have to go into the recent personal growth pile. But I have so much more to learn, so here we go again.

It's become apparent to me that my attitude needs to shift. I've realised this from a few aside comments from people and from some reading I've been doing. I dont like the way I look in this light. So I need to make a change.

Starting with: I have the most amazing man in the world in my life. He toughs it out at work day and sometimes night to earn what we need to get by. Then, he's so good at what he does that they take his almost finished job, and swap tasks with the other guy, who does nothing. So he then again has to work nights and weekends to get that done too. (He is a consultant, mind you, they do NOT have the same roles or even work for the same company, so this isn't as spineless as it seems. He is actually saving the day.)

After the sleep defict from work, there is every chance he'll come home and the plans we made for the evening get canned when Master 3 doesnt want to sleep. It's been days and I'm still longing to lie on the trampline with him and stargaze (the net does make a nice 'frame' for the sky, but that might just be the architect in me talking).

He loves me more than life, and he'd do anything for our son.

The fact that he's totally clueless in some ways, I'll have to fogive. Because from what I can tell, most men are totally clueless about something. So we can work on that together. If anyone has any good books they'd recommend for men to understand women better, give me a yell. They might well help us out.



 

EternallyHopeful EternallyHopeful
31-35, F
7 Responses Dec 14, 2010

I wonder if the problem is really men understanding women (or vice versa) or just the fact that one person (regardless of sex) fails to understand the other. In most cases, the person you want to know most intimately is your partner. When you are with them day in and day out....year after year...it makes you wonder why they fail to truly "know" you. Shouldn't they have learned by now? I have been with my wife for 18 years and I know she has yet to comprehend what truly makes me tick. Of course, I love her more than life itself and have allowed myself to entertain the idea that perhaps we are all too complex as individuals and it may be an impossibility to ever expect anyone to truly understand who we really are. That doesn't mean that they don't love us or don't care enough to try to read the person before them...it is just that we all play to the beat of our own drum and no one will ever to be able to appreciate the rhythm as much as we do being individuals.

Thanks Alexis. I think we communicate very differently, thus the thought that a book might help. But I'm trying to get over my frunstration and learn a new to, as you say, spell it out in a way he understands. Thanks for commenting.

anon - I promise I am not reprofiling again. If I cant have the guts to be me on here, what the hell hope do I have in RL? No more. Of course, will leave a loophole for extenuating circumstances... :)<br />
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xR - Hmmm, I think it would be easier on both Mr H and I if he learned at least some of it from books. I find him exhausting to teach anything to, as he does me, I suspect. He's super logical and I'm very much a jump into it as it feels right. Luckily my gut works pretty well for me most of the time, but it's hard to teach. So we differ a lot. And LOL - you think I'm not a 'like in books' woman? Time will tell, and if he had a starting point, I'm pretty sure I'd enjoy showing him the rest.<br />
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GW - you are so right. I think my patience has been too thin because of our past and our other current circumstances. But he deserves better, now that he's giving it a go. <br />
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Yay to that!

Dear EH. Of course we are (men, clueless about one thing or another, or maybe more...). I think this is brilliant.<br />
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Do you think your man would learn by reading, what he can't learn from talking to you? Interesting to know if that's his 'learning style'. :) It might be something else. And... what makes you think you're a 'like in the books' woman *smiles*???

And when you change again, be sure to let me know your new EP name!

Awwww, thank you Isshe. Well, I guess it all starts in the mind, doesn't it? Think I've been a bit resistant to this, and it's time. Maybe more than time.

*smiles* It really sounds like he is open to new ideas and does love you to bits...how very romantic...lying under the stars on the trampoline :). It is wonderful that you have recognised his love for you...you have learnt so much about yourself and your relationships over such a short period of time EH...incredible really...keep it up...