I Like Men

Sometimes it seems like men balance out women.  They give a different perspective to things.  I have one guy friend in real life.  He met his wife through me and they've been married a long time.  His wife was once my best friend, but we've lost touch a bit through the years.  Sometimes this guy friend's work takes him to my area and he'll call me to keep him company while he grabs a bite to eat before heading home.  We've been friends for over 20 years.  But last time I saw him he got weird on me.  It's hard to describe it because nothing obvious externally happened.  But he got weird the way men and sometimes women get weird when you're divorced.  I can't really explain it.  It's like some how you become a threat to their happy home.  I don't flirt with him.  I don't know what I did.  Well, I said I miss having someone to travel with.  I hate driving alone all the time and this was partly said because I feel guilty for not having visited him and his wife and family.  And I said he was lucky to have someone to do stuff with.  Well, that apparently was the catalyst.  He got weird and nervous.  SIGH.  I'm divorced.  I don't want to break up any one's marriage.  I highly value marriage.  I believing in protecting marriages.  I've seen it other times though..the nervous looks.  The changes.  It hurts.  It's like there is an assumption of who you are just because of something you went through.  I know I'm not alone in the experience of being judged.  Nor am I always free of being the one to pass judgement. 

All that being said, I miss having a guy friend.  I love having men in my life.

PrayerWhisperer PrayerWhisperer
46-50, F
2 Responses Dec 2, 2007

Dear, sometime even if you are married you feel lonely, let alone being divorced. I hope you find who you looking for, may be in a church or may be in local neighborhood gathering. I wish you all the luck in the world.

Yeah, you pinpointed exactly what triggered. It's like a combination of lonely and needy and focusing on him+relationships....and frankly that always puts guys on edge unless they're in a nesting mood. And it probably felt too close to flirting, which is why he went all defensive. It probably felt just as awkward and "idk what went wrong" type situation to him too. I hope you were able to smooth things over and set it to rights later though. Good friends are sad to lose. =s