Things I Regret Doing..(the Beginning)
Im an ordinary guy from australia and i moved to egypt, i enrolled into a new school and ive been in it for a year now. i feel terrible. sometimes i want to commit suicide so dessperatly because i just found out that my best friend, ( an amazing beautiful looking girl...) i thought we had this "moment" and i fell in love with her.i asked her out the next day and she said no. i was ok with that untill i had found out from other good friends of mine that she said no because she couldnt be seen with an ugly and fat person like me. i felt terrable... as of today i see her walking with the new people that have recently enrolled in school, they are a group of year 9 "hot" guys who do swimming and soccer etc.. she loves them way too much but she does not know them at all.. they hardly speak any english (really bad english) and shes a superficial *****.. ofcourse i havnt told her that but its true.. i had no one to tell this secret untill i realised that another friend of mine(girl) really cares for me and totaly agrees with me. shes wonderfull and delightfull always has a smile on her face and is a great artist. but on the other hand i have the guys that my so called"best friend" likes, teasing me almost everyday because all my friends are girls and im not tough enough.. they call me gay even though im not and it made me cry so much when i went home. i also have family problems, my mother and father divorced when i was 5. and everytime i go out with my friends who are really rich, they take probably 400-500LE and ill be taking at around 100-150LE and makes me embarrassed of who i am and how i feel being left out of the gang.. my mother always tells me that we cant afford alot of things that others do and itry not to think about it, and i try to pass my exams to get a great carrer in the future. but no matter how much i study i always fail my exams because of how nervous i am before i take them. i love my mother and brother so much.. but yesterday i wanted to commit suicide.. i was just about to until i logged on msn and talked to my other good friend i mentioned earlier.. she told me that "there will always be me to listn to what u want to say"so i told her the story and she told me commiting suicide will take u no where and shes also told me that im a great friend and to not care about what others say. after that serrious conversation between us i felt like somebody finaly cares about me. yet, i got a B+ in my maths exam. it made my day. another thing i have a crush on her, and i get this feeling that she does too.