I Want to Be Somebody's Priority

I have always wanted somebody to love me but when I was in my sexless and eventually loveless marriage I had my mother and my children.  I got a divorce, my mother died , my daughter has excluded me from her life and my son is a 19-year-old, in school and 700 miles away, nuff said.

   I  don't feel any attraction for the guys that  have hit on me.  For some reason married guys love me but I am not even trying to go there.  There is one guy who I do love.  I get the mixed messages from him.  Sometimes I feel like he cares for me other times he is holding  up the "just friends" banner.  I have gone on some internet dates but those guys did nothing for me.  I don't  call him or see him for months and them he will say something like "Long time no see"  or "You don't call somebody anymore" or my favorite " I thought friends came by to see friends."  We have had some times when he put his arm around me, played in my hair, stroked me and even kissed me on my ear once.  I want to find someone else but there are two major problems. First, there is not a whole lot for a woman my age to choose from and second, I am in love with him so I feel trapped.  I just want somebody to love me because love is a verb. 

sbinderella sbinderella
51-55, F
2 Responses Sep 5, 2009

Lean back. Read (or buy audiobooks) Rori Raye, Christian Carter, Brandon Martin. That's the start to beautiful things in the future. It works for me. And read about men - David Dieda, Swinggcat.... Google PUA.

You're only trapped if you make yourself trapped. At least you're being proactive about finding someone, but you can't rush it. Also, if it has been a long time, like over a year, I don't see any problem with asking him where he thinks the relationship is going. Also, you're not married, and obviously he's not giving you signs that you're both exclusive, so play the field (what field there is anyway... I know as women age the ratio of women to men increases significantly).<br />
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All the best.