I have hated myself for about 6 years now. I have hated the world for about 4 years. I hate the way people treat each other. I Always "treat people the way I'd like to be treated" and the past couple of years have shown me that gets you nowhere in life. All I've ever wanted is to be nice and kind. And now I've realised that's unrealistic that I'm naive and stupid for wanting everything to be nice. For wanting people to be nice. I genuinely cannot understand the way people lie and deceive, when people snap nasty comments at their nearest and dearest. Yes I admit I did it once or twice when I was younger, but I learnt that all it did was make me feel guilty and mean, and upset the person you've shouted at. I learnt to bite my tongue, go away and think before I speak.!

Maybe I'm just old fashioned or maybe it's this generation that have lost respect for each other, or maybe this is just how the world has always been.

Guess I've posted this to see if there's anyone else thinks like this /:
Smithsfan Smithsfan
22-25, F
6 Responses Aug 21, 2014

Your not alone on this one

I will be what wasn't there for me, I share your feelings and dream, but I will die in a gutter in rags alone before I give up my dream. I also believe I am naive, but it doesn't matter because I will be what wasn't there for me

During my Junior year of high school I met a young lady who went to a local high school about 45 minutes from Fort Wayne. She was my age and we ended up dating for a year. Everything was great and then one day it happened… I’m not sure what triggered this but a Demon from my past named The Sickness raised its ugly head again. I was in the fight of my life because love became clouded between how I felt for her and how I treated my past relationships. I was also confused because while dating her, I dedicated my life to Christ and I was on Fire for God! I wanted so much to do the right thing. You see, I never told her how damaged I really was and I didn’t want to take from her what was taken from me. Instead, I temporarily forgot my commitment to the Lord and her. I went on a “Sex Binge” with other girls. Feeling unbelievably guilty, I decided to confess my wrong doings. She left before I could finish telling her why it happened in the first place. It was over and so was I. That day began a downward spiral of a life that would not include God or my parents in my life. I would develop multiple personalities that would protect my heart and feelings. I would begin studying martial arts to the point where it became the “Dark Arts”. I would become whatever women desired of me.

I try to be genuinely nice to people also... I think it's made it very easy for me to make friends... trouble is I don't actually want most of those people as friends because they aren't nice!

Unfortunately being nice with the opposite sex has not proved to work out very well as it seems like I am always being used or walked all over by someone who at first feigns also being nice but then turns out to be manipulative and deceptive.

Everyone tells me all day about how many nice girls out there would kill for a nice guy, but I must be looking in the wrooooonng places (actually I don't really look at all).

But I guess the good news here is I think there are nice people out there! It's like digging for gold though (not to be confused with a gold digger) you really need to sift and sift until you find someone precious.

Couldn't agree more.

The world is a horrible place. We are our own worse enemy. Humanity is the problem in this world that destroys all living organisms for power and greed. Not all people are bad. There are people out there like us that care. The problem is the people who don't care see us as victims and try to squash us and bring us down so we have no hope in the world. The way how animals are treated, the way how people are treated makes me sick. The world needs people like us to care because without people in the world who don't care, the world would have already been destroyed. Don't blame yourself for this madness. All we can do is do our part in this life is care for one another and try our best to help where is needed.

same here i really hate the world and i hate the fortunate people that have it all when im here with nothing. i just feel like the world is a cruel place where there are winners and losers and im a loser /: