It All Started With A Text Message...

Her name was Danielle. I barely knew her. Danielle hung out with my friends for as long as Ive known them but I never really got to know her myself. One day when Danielle was hanging out with a friend of hers and mine, she got my number from her and started to text me jokingly, telling me she was stalking me and that she was a gay man. It was funny, but eventually i found out who she was. I dont know why that started a fire in my heart, but it did. Just knowing that she got my number from someone and took the time out to text me was enough for me to get interested in her. We started talking and hanging out (Never one-on-one though) and I was unashamedly attracted to her and showed it every way I could. She was kind of intimidated with me at first, but she grew to like me and even flirt back occasionally. I learned that she had never had a boyfriend before, and I felt like I was just the right guy to be her first. We liked each other, and one fateful and unforgettable night, we kissed in the street under the night sky, her first kiss. We started to date then. We were crazy for each other. We texted every single day and we tried to hang out as much as possible. She became the focus of my entire day sometimes. But alas, she was inexperienced with boys and didnt treat me the same way. I wanted to kiss and hug and be intimate all the time, but she really wasnt ready for all that, so she shrugged me off sometimes. I took this as her not wanting me to be around, so I got hurt more often than I should have. I took it way too hard sometimes but Danielle always made up for it when i brought it to her attention. Her mom is a different story. She heared about the troubles I went through with my own mom and welcomed me into her family within the first week of knowing her. She told me to consider her a second mom, someone I could trust with anything. And I did. I really though of her as a parent to me. So anyway, danielle and I were pretty happy for about the first month, but my jelousy issues really kicked in when she started hanging out at friends houses that I could easily walk to but she never told me she was there. I just felt like, "Why doesnt she tell me shes going to be at (This place)? I want to be there with her too." And everytime I asked to hang out with her or for her to hang out with me, she would have other things to do. sometimes we would be at school and she wouldnt even take notice of me until I talked to her first. I kept feeling like I was screwing up our relationship because I kept getting angry at what appeared to me as her ignoring me. Eventually, it lead to her breaking up with me for "Her own personal issues with grades and family" . I was crushed. This happened three months ago and Im still not over it. But at least our actual friendship hit its stride when we were broken up. We were easier to talk to each other, friendlier, and eventually we realized we were best friends (or at least, I was one of hers) and that we loved each other. That was a great thing to have, but my feelings for her have never died.
BoomSickle BoomSickle
18-21, M
2 Responses Jul 10, 2010

Yea ull be okay. Just make sure u learn...dont overwhelm these girls by being too needy. Give them space but still show umm affection..its a balancing act and you gotta feel it out.

i know what youre going through, and i know its so hard, but you willb e okay. i know how you feel incomplete with out her. broken, confused,angry,hurt? it will all go a way. but healing takes time