The Pain of Sharing

I usually hide my true feelings with a fake smile, but when it becomes to much to bear alone.. I will open up and let it all out. Why do people feel they must tell me what to do ? I do not want a solution at this point , I do not know if this marriage should end, or I should kick him out. I know this is an unheathy love I have, it drags me down,but sixteen years with someone is not so easy to just throw out.

Hubby is cold and controlling, angry and distant, he makes hundreds of insane rules in the house, he does not treat my dogs properly.. yells at them loudly, he does not enjoy life and lives in the negative.

So I am the one to decide my next step. just need a listening ear, maybe some gentle advice.. BUT NOT  YOU BETTER KICK HIM OUT.. makes me feel weak and stuck. I am not able to make such a big life change decision yet although I am so very unhappy.

that is what I am feeling right now

alwaystearful alwaystearful
51-55
2 Responses Mar 15, 2009

Sometimes you're stuck, and nothing's ever clear from the inside. Nobody knows your circumstances except for you, because nobody knows what you can bear and how deeply you can feel except for you. If you can talk to a therapist, then that's probably best, but if you can't, then you can't. Do what you need to in order to get through because it'll get better. Nothing can stay dreadful forever--whether he magically changes, or you change, something will give. Stay safe and healthy as you can.

milady<br />
<br />
some humble comments. this is not demanding nor is it advising. take what you wish from here and discard the rest.<br />
<br />
I was in a bad marriage for seventeen years until I finally walked out. Now, four plus years later, I know that this is the best thing that I ever done. my spirit is restored, my health has improved and I am much happier.<br />
<br />
I have no anger towards her because I now feel nothing for her. I am happy to face God for my decision.<br />
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thanks<br />
<br />
b