Is Love Available?
My whole life has been a struggle for finding pure love without conditions. It seems that everyone I get involved with puts conditions on me and don't accept me for who I am and who I am not. I come from a family of six siblings including myself. We lost our parents when I was really young and there was nothing there to keep us together. Being the youngest, I was always seeking that pure love. There weren't a whole lot of hugs and "I love you's" since we were all into different things. The relationships I sought were always abusive and chaotic. My dad was angry a lot and abusive. He was loving and a good provider, but heaven help you if he had a bad day! So I sought out people the same as my father. Then one day something clicked. It was all too wrong. I don't deserve the abuse from their excess baggage or my own. I learned that I was capable of loving and being loved. The thing is this, are my expectations too great for finding that pure love where I am accepted and I can accept him as he is? There is not a lot of love out there these days in the current world that we live in. I am different in my views and philosophies and that is okay. My dilemma is where do we gentle people fit in?