P6 - Can A Marriage Work If One Person Is Religious And The Other Is Not?My husband and I both grew up in highly Catholic families. I did CCD (i believe it means Confraternity of Christian Doctrine) as a child and received my communion. As I furthered in education and learned a lot about scientific matters, I began questioning religion. i believe in facts and truth and science. I need proof. But as I delved more into education, my whole viewpoint on religion changed. I just don't believe in all of it. And to be honest with you, I feel as though religion causes plenty of problems in society. For instance, gay marriage, abortion, contraception, sex before marriage, etc etc. I believe in love and people having control over their own bodies. Religion becomes something that taints everything. Recently, I ran into this quote:
MORALITY IS DOING WHAT IS RIGHT REGARDLESS OF WHAT YOU ARE TOLD.
RELIGION IS DOING WHAT YOU ARE TOLD REGARDLESS OF WHAT IS RIGHT.
It sums up everything that I feel. I am a very good person. I do not say bad words (except during sex （＾ʊ＾）), I am compassionate with the environment and with animals, I have wonderful relationships with others in my life, I don't steal, I don't hurt others. I believe that we should respect others and be happy for others. I did not need religion in my life to be a good person. I just needed good friends and family. Yet, I am told that if I am not "saved," I will be condemned to hell?! WTF?!?!?! UGGGH! I do not want to associate myself with anything religious. I do not hate it, but I do not want to be around it.
My husband recently was "saved" and has taken on Christianity very heavily. It bothers me a lot. And I told him that he can do whatever feels right to him as long as he doesn't push me into it. He is very understanding, but I wonder if it makes him as sad as it makes me. I do not want to be a conservative person. I love speaking my mind and I do not feel bad for my believes. There are many things that we do not agree on, but we are trying to deal with it.
Anyways, we are working on our marriage right now and I am gaining plenty of support on this site. THIS is my therapy. He is at a Christian Marriage Therapy class. He wanted to know if I wanted to go, but I have already gone to a handful of church-related functions with him to support him. I feel so suffocated there. I CANNOT STAND IT! I told him thanks, but no thanks. I'd rather do homework, AND THAT'S SAYING A LOT!!!
Anyhow, I feel horrible that we cannot be on the same page with this. We respect and care for one another VERY much. But this religious stuff, can it interfere with our relationship? I AM NOT GOING TO CHANGE, and I believe, neither will he. I am grounded and sure of myself and I couldn't be more proud. But it's hard that these are VERY strong factors that depict who we are individually. Can this interfere with working for a successful marriage???
airzm 31-35, F 8 Responses 2 Feb 24, 2012