What Do I Do....

My marriage is just like its over, we are holding onto something that is no longer there. I have told my husband i want out but he does not. i am confused because i never see him, he comes home late every night. We have seen a marriage counsel but i feel it is more for me than it is for him. he is a bachealor who is married. I have now found out i am pregnant and even more confused i already have 3 kids. Dont know what to do. In my culture divorce is kind of unheard of. I am caught up in culture, i am insecured to leave, i am scared to stay because of deceases(he sleeps around), i dont know my legal rights...........what can i do?
nghaza nghaza
4 Responses Jul 26, 2010

I see it's a old post,how did things end up

NGHAZA,<br />
After reading your story, I have an idea of what you're going through. I understand that you have children with this man and you are also pregnant. So its making your everything harder for your current situation. You claim your husband is unfaithful. Does your culture deem this acceptable? I hope not.<br />
You need to step away from yourself and ask yourself this "Is this relationship repairable?" and maybe even take a step further and stay with a relative for a week or so... Really gather your thoughts and figure out what YOU truly want.<br />
If you are simply going through the motions in this relationship and you are miserable, unhappy, lost... Then by all means get out of it.... theres no need to rush into a divorce, just take the time you need wether it be a day, or forever. We only live once.... and unfortunately its not a long time. make the best of it while you are still young. between 40 - 45... is less than half the journey. <br />
Look deep inside of yourself, weigh the pro's and cons and really figure out what you truly want... If he's not willing to make you enjoy everyday that you guys spend together then he is not worthy of you...

I know it would be hard to leave a relationship. Think about what will happen in long term of staying or going. What would be best for you.

My first thought is breath, I'm frightened about the end of my relationship too, however I am lucky in that my partner is not sleeping around. At what level does your culture consider personal happiness or is it just not in the picture at all and considered irrelevant. My partner of 13 years told me last week the she is now single... She's broken up with me but I haven't broken up with her. It tough at our age I think to start asking ourselves if we've thrown away a chunk of our lives and we're doomed to spend our remainder with someone who we love dearly but we don't get the love in return. Its frustrating and scary and in it all we keep hoping its going to get back to being normal and good