I So Need Someone to 'get' Me, Just a Little.

Problem, is I've gotten so good at hiding my emotional jacked-up-ed-ness (it's a word now :D), that I can't take my metaphorical mask off anymore.  So everyone thinks I'm 'normal', until I crack a little....then they're all, "why are you so upset?" And I can't tell them.  I just want someone who's been through it too to tell me I'm not alone, that I'm not insane, and that it will get better someday.

Spectre822 Spectre822
31-35, M
5 Responses Jul 2, 2009

You could always say what you want in EP, we all understand each other and we would lke to help. <br />
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Besides, they are right, things will get better soon , even if it is a huge disaster or something that will never leave you alone..<br />
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And never feel that you are insane or alone, cause you're absolutely not. Humans always make mistakes, even the most wisest and genius people. Humans are humans, and they will always be.

I can so relate. Not sure I can tell you it gets better...you just learn how to hide more.

God, I was just coming on here to post something close to this. It really sucks when you cannot let your guard down and then when you do just little bit... Your supposed to be real friends and even family judge you or under judge the fact that something is really wrong, if that makes since. I hate it. I do hope you feel better and if you ever need to talk, i'll listen.

Yeah I know what you mean. When I was under 7 I got really anxious about myself and said to my mum 'I don't think I'm normal'. She told me of course I was, but when I was older my emotional outbursts and sensitivity had her calling me 'not like other people's childrens' and that things were always 'all in my head'. Perhaps true but not supportive by any means. Anyway you are not alone. I am going to uni soon and I and I am suffering with deep depression and and eating disorder and I know I am going to have to put on a facade of being normal. I hate having to pretend I'm not me.

I understand exactly where youre coming from. I too am extremely messed up inside. I have a lot of emotional baggage that I would rather just try to forget about. I've been really closed up my whole life, I barely even talk to my family or closest friends when something is bugging me. So then when I break, and I call up my best friend, crying into the telephone so hard that I'm barely intelligible, it's like, "what happened?". I try to hold myself together, and I might seem happy on the outside, but inside I'm really hurt, and alone, and sometimes I feel as if nobody understands me, or even tries, despite the fact that i know that I will always have great, the love of my friends. I understand where you're coming from.