I Met My Soul But He is Not My Mate

I realized how life is all about duality
Everything comes in a pair
Man and woman
Young and old
Father and mother
Brothers and sisters
Health and sickness
Tall and thin
Deep and shallow
Smart and stupid
Good and bad
Happy and sorrow
Rain and shine
Black and white
Right and Left
UP and down
Yes and no
Life and death
Night and day
Hot and cold
and so on and so on

The same in finding partners
You can either have them or you don't
They either available or they aren't
They are here nor there
They Mr Right or Mr Right Now (lol)
hmmmm

In this case, most of the time, they are never available mentally, emotionally, physically even economically
Sounds crude?
Well let's say this is the irony of my discovery
The more I searched the more unlikely I meet the right one
The closer I get to know someone the more distance they be
Why is that so?

Is it me or is it them?

Do I need to change to please others? I dont think so, someone who likes me would be someone who loves the whole package of me and able to compromise my strength and weakness and vise versa. That is unconditional love ... hmm I wish!

How is it possible when you finally met someone so right and connected to you so perfectly mentally emotionally, physically and spiritually everything is ok BUT only to find out  that you will never have them, or they are not the one.
Who is to decide that? No one knows.
Will this stop me from trying? NO I will never give up!
It is about the way all the mixed messages transpired between us that confuses me, I am very sensual person who reads by all my senses.. that tells me something is right and positive, but his words tells the opposite. Which elements decides the truth his mind or heart? His actions or words? Who is telling the truth. Surely this is hard to dig.. especially someone from Mars.

So here it is when I think I have met my soul in him, yet he is not my mate why is that???? How can I find a soul that can be my mate the same time? Soulmate is supposed to be together isn't it?? Maybe yes, maybe not. Well I like to think they are.

Someday someone likes you, the next day they left.
It happened all the time even when we are married - you can be together either till death do you part or divorced
The one who is mean, bad and corrosive towards you is the one who still around to hurt you

So I dropped all my hopes, expectations and dreams. For these are illusions nothing is real and no one will ever make me happy. I MUST make myself happy. How many times I need to remind myself. Be happy and keep positive (PLEASE)

Sure I have consoled myself tiredlessly that everything happens for a reason - to meet someone we can only be ourself and let it flow, time will tell, and surely embrace the thoughts these moments are gifts and must be cherished no matter what challenges we are facing now or later. I was told I am a nice person, too nice that many has left me for whatever reasons I never get to know. I do like to think I am nice enough for someone who really wants and needs me for life. But that will be the day .... I don't know. ..........tbc

sugarnspice4u sugarnspice4u
41-45, F
1 Response Jul 27, 2010

I hope you find your hearts desire!