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End Of Joy

Last summer my wife fell in our kitchen & broke her hip after being discharged from Extended Care center she was diagnosed to have Dementia. How life has changed in our home is unbelievably Tough. I was told by Professionals that I should put her into a home & sell our home & enjoy life. Meaning have a GF & enjoy sex. But others say I would be cheating on my wife. True, I would be. Those others say your marriage is finished go find a New Love and enjoy life. If a Live-in Care-person were brought in maybe?? Looking for suggestions & ideas.
Perplexed & Lonely
Oregonjwn Oregonjwn 70+ 3 Responses Feb 18, 2012

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Dude - she has dementia. She's losing herself and she knows it. There is nothing you can do to make that worse, and a lot you can do to help both her and yourself. Listen to the professionals, they've seen it before and they know the score.

I am told there will come a time when I can't live with my wife anymore because of her loss of temper. I can see that coming but it will be very hard for me to face.<br />
Perhaps the Lord has another plan in store for us? At present we are still sleeping together. She is 78 and I'm 74 I'm very lonely and she has problem expressing her wishes & thoughts. When I say Still sleepinmg together I mean without sex.

I just wanted to say that I am very sorry for the turmoil in life that has come your way. I feel for you and your wife too. I can't imagine what she must feel like. I think Dementia is a horrible disease and unfortunately, eventually most days it makes the person not know or remember much including the people they once loved and who still love them. I don't think anyone could really give you an honest opinion or advice on what you should do. I know I couldn't because I can see both sides of how most people would think. On one hand, shouldn't you still be able to live your life and have happiness...yes you should! On the other hand, you loved your spouse and promised through sickness and in health. I wish I had more to share. I hope that you can find peace in which ever way your life takes you!