Looking For ''real''.....

I've been through several relationships in the past few years. Most of them we met online, seemed to have a great connection...at first, then it seemed to me that little fibs started showing up as we started getting closer to meeting, and most were flying in from another state and that wasn't cheep for either one of us. I have no idea why people seem to refuse to be 'forthcoming' and 'completely' honest. The little twists and exaggerations seemed to me to be a set up for it to continue, and it really turned me off. I'm still good friends with all but one of them, but in the meantime it has wasted precious years when I'm not getting any younger. I'm sad and disappointed that people aren't always who they pretend to be. I need real!

deleted deleted
7 Responses Mar 6, 2010

Aw hugs, you deserve so much better. Good luck.

After I read this & the comments I was going to write my standard lines about how I can't stand being lied to or used. Then I read Gryfnn's comments and I'm once again in awe of her wisdom & grace. That "real" love we so desire is not something that simply comes to us without effort or risk on our part. Yet without a commitment to honesty, love doesn't stand a chance.

After reading your case, i just want to tell you that no matter how many times dishonest person appeared in your life. Don't give up finding the true relationship in the future.<br />
unhappy life experience is also a good lesson to you which can let you know about the real life and you will get more wisdom and be very clear to think what kinds of love or life style you want to choose.<br />
And also i wish finally you will get a wonderful real relationalship as a happy end! :)

It takes a strong intention and resilient heart to find the right person. It seems like you have both, and a lot to offer in relationship. Keep the faith!

I just thought of something, There is a man who lives very near me---he is always cooking for me, checking on me to see if I'm o.k. He always makes me laugh....He and I have a relationship in the real world that is good----The things that we have in common---have a healing aspect :). Both of us have serious health problems---one of them being that we are of an age--rotfl....Being ancient is a serious health problem.....It's a blessing to have someone nearby to love...The love of family is a great and wonderful thing......but the love between a man and a woman--no matter how it manifests, transcends all the other forms of love--except maybe the spiritual connection of a soul to the divine.

I've had a long term relationship with a man I met online---for years he's given me all his phone numbers, begged me to call him---it's not a physical relationship on any level...it's been great fun--a flirtation- a sharing of a side of both of our personalities that probably neither of us has revealed to anyone else---not out of trying to hide anything---there is something about anonymity that may form a connection that is---difficult to put into words...but here is the facts about this type of connection--you can't have it both ways....My dear very beloved friend has a relationship in the real world now that I prayed he would find. He didn't meet her online---he adores her and I have spoken with her--I can tell that she adores him too--they are a really good match.. they have important things in common--things that he and I do not....she is the answer to my prayer for him. They have been together for several years now...the change in him is wonderful....the side of himself that he shared with me....heartbroken, fiercely cynical--a dark sense of humor---has healed in her loving arms----I have learned so much from him---it's a privilege to love him.

Theres few things i absolutely wont tolerate, liars and people elaborating on the truth, been one of them. I am what i am, honest, open, truthful (to a fault) and this is why i get annoyed with all the sexy fake avatars on here. Its not so bad when their album contains the "real" person, but half the time some folk on here use the anon factor to be anyone they want to be if you follow my drift? I think chatting over a prolonged period does give you a insight to a persons 2real" nature, but that can be ruined if there has been lies told, i can honestly say even if i thought i could get away with it, i wouldnt want to. You either like what a person is, and has to offer or you dont. Im sorry this happened to you MusicMouse, and im sure you arent alone!