We Were Maybe Never Meant To Be Friends

You and I are from two different worlds. Times – Generations.
We are some thirty years a part.
I almost thought that I had looked at you as a daughter that I never had, but however I wish I did.
That was my first mistake. I had hoped for things that could or would never be.
I saw something in you, that woke up feelings that I never had before - I wanted so much to be just a very, very small part of your life and your kids world.
I knew that you were having problems and I just kept adding to your problems.  However I tried to support you financially when I could.
I tried to always give you things that I thought you might need.   Money for food, medicine, gas for your car, phone and other things.  Just hoping, that one day you would come to trust me, to let you see something in me that I could be a real friend.
We could / would/ or ever did see eye to eye - or feel what each other felt.   I think that  I expected way more from you that you could or would ever give.
Now that I am dead to you, because of many misunderstandings that we could never cross.
I wanted & wished for just one thing and you something else.
I lost out on a dream, that I ever could have a person who I cared for that would accept me for me.
Your parents are both there for you.
I just tried to be what I never could be to you.

A real friend.
I lost out on a hopeful friend and you lost my support.
We both lost out on something that would or could almost never be.
I just wanted to be a real friend that you could and would trust one day. 
gllr gllr
66-70, M
5 Responses Feb 16, 2012

Sometimes dreams are better to be just that - dreams. When dreams become reality, so often they disappoint us. Leave us empty. Leave us yearning for our dreams again.

Thank you, you are very right, I will remember your comment.

so sad for you!!

Thank you, for caring. That is my impossible dream, every day. Who knows it may one day come true, again maybe not.
Thank you for being there for me.

The May-December thing can work, but we probably both know its rare.<br />
I think one difference comes from being born into different eras, growing up with different economic and cultural experiences and values.<br />
Another is the gap between levels of knowledge, emotional maturity and material security, which creates an inequality.<br />
Another is the differences in life-stage needs. As you later age, she becomes your nurse and keeper, possibly while also rearing a teenager - very challenging for all concerned.<br />
What I would hope for you is a very able bodied and able minded equal, who just as much seeks the same sort of friendship you want - to be understood and accepted as and for who you are. There are a few here, and more older people seeming to be coming onto Ep recently, so I think your chances are quite good if you can hang in and have patience.

Thank you for your wise knowledge. I'm just living That impossible dream. Who knows one strange day it may come true. Thank you for caring about me, it does mean a lot to me.

wow...this is truly very sad...but life continues, we loose some , we win some..i pray someone who will love for who you are comes your way sir...

Thank you for your thoughts.

This is very sad, and I am so sorry for you. But, it does sound like she meant more to you than a platonic friend. It sounds like you were/are in love with her. I know of these relationships with age, cultural, distance, religious differences. There are many obstacles to overcome, and sometimes it can be done, but usually not...not when there are so many differences, and I think age is the least of them...and maybe this was the only difference in your case. I am truly sorry for your pain, and hope one day someone will come along who reciprocates your love.

Thank you for your canidid thoughts. Is does mean a lot to me that some people can read between the lines and words on paper. I knew from the start that it would probably not work. But I did dream the impossible dream. But when I am no long part of this world either 6 foot down or fish food. She maybe might realize that a friendship could have been possible, but it might take something drastic for her to ever see it, but again she might say who else can I affect. Who knows. Again thank you.