So Frustrated

The headline says it all!I have been with the same partner almost 40yrs. We have had three kids (all adults) now.We had a good sex life until our family was complete & then came the shock to my "system" as my wife went from a willing partner to someone who will only let me have sex on rare occasions.
We used to do all the usual exciting things oral & most positions known to man & woman. i was never demanding & always made sure that she came as often as she wanted no matter how tiered i was.
When our family was complete I offered to have "snip" but she rejected that in favour of me having to "pull out" when coming.Though this was frustrating I always satisfied her & then pulled out before *******.
In a short while she started to find the usual excuses to avoid sex & would just let me enter her lying on her side & just lie still until sensing my excitement would move away culminating in me finishing myself by hand. Her  excuse being that she was afraid I would get her pregnant. As for condoms, I couldn't bear the thought of them as i always had complete control of my arousal. I looked forward to the day that she would be passed those worries but sadly that has never come to pass & I am now in my present frustrated state of mind & continuous arousal.
I am tormented by the thought of life passing by so quickly & not having the closeness & enjoyment that regular sex can bring to mind & body.As my wife works in medicine its not a case of medical problems as she is super fit & sexy looking woman. All my friends (particularly male) say how lucky I am as they imagine we have great sex, ah how little do they know?.
When I found this site I am sharing my inner thoughts as i have never done before in the hope that someone out "there" can understand & comment on my feelings!
It is clear that my wife saw sex as a means of creating a family & was her sole purpose for going at it like a "rabbit" until she had what she wanted.Meantime my throbbing ache goes unsatisfied.
thanks for reading. lol!
horny60 horny60
56-60, M
11 Responses Jun 8, 2007

ditto<br />
i will send you pix of my wife to *** to if you want<br />
maybe that will help<br />
hhh

I can identify. We used to have a good sex life. I had the snip after she miscarried and the good life continued. She has put on weight and is self-conscious. When ever we do it (rare) she pretty much lies there.

Aw no Keytears, that I would be so lucky if the scenaro that you suggest were true...then i would feel justified in ending our relationship.....no change whatever in life pattern......I guess the only one other than the obvious is that she treats me like one of her sons, mothers me is the best description, i can come with.......but then my sons don't sleep in the same bed as her.....lol

I get a little concerned when the libido drops off suddenly, especially after years of marriage. I don't mean to be an alarmist... but has anything else changed? like, is she home less than usual? or running more 'errands' than usual. Basically, could she be getting attention from elsewhere but doesn't want to give up a 'settled' lifestyle. Just think positively and start taking her out more, a movie, dinner, sporting event (if she's into it) just try to start rekindling that old flame !!!! good luck...

Is this the key to all us males questions....if it is, why are there as many females on here moaning for sex as us h@orny men?....explain

Straight Up.<br />
When you find a woman who wants to have sex with her husband you can bet he knows what hes doing, and keeps her satisfied. This is very rare fellas. I know we put on a good show, but thats because we love you and don't want to hurt your egos. After so many years, we just get tired of jumping through hoops and we finally just let it all hang out this is the place you find yourself in.<br />
Sorry.

My wife is actually trying to resolve some of the issue..HRT therapy because of menopause...

She's a Doctor, but you use the "pull out before coming" method of birth control? That makes no sense at all.

wow... I know its mostly guys here but I feel bad for the guy too...that has to be so frustrating!!! I mean I'm still in my 30's and I guess coz I'm at my peak I just feel like if I'm with someone I love and like...( key word "like") I thinkd I would want to make love all the time...see funny thing is woman lose drive for other than medical reasons.... when woman no longer feel pampered or romanced she doesn't feel that same desire ...sad to say guys... women are women...guys are guys... getaways are great...change of atmosphere.... make er feel like she's ur girlfriend again.... I know its a little tedious but its worth it in the bedroom! LOL

Ward thanks for your suggestions but the funny part is my wife is an hospital......doctor so there is no medical reason. Believe me we have discussed it many times but always the same story "she dont feel like it" is too tiered or the best one is she "don't like *** oozing out of her" every thing else is great just this constant longing for good exciting sex. <br />
what really scares me I the thought of advancing years & being unable to perform,<br />
Is there s/thing wrong

Sorry to hear of your predicament. I understand and am living it too. thought I had it resolved but I guess not.