What's The Funniest Top 10 List You've Ever Read?

The question for today:

What's the funniest top 10 list you've ever read?

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ExperienceProject ExperienceProject
26-30, M
15 Responses Oct 17, 2009

Silly i know, but i think the funniest is Weird Al Yankovich's top 9-10 parodies of others' songs. Hilarious....number 10 would be Obama winning the Nobel Peace: Speaks for itself.

<p>1 I LOVE YOU MAN</p><br />
<p>2 SWINGERS</p><br />
<p>3 CLERKS</p><br />
<p>4 SUPERBAD</p><br />
<p>5 PINNAPLE EXPRESS</p><br />
<p>6 WEDDING CRASHERS</p><br />
<p>7 WHITE MEN CANT JUMP</p><br />
<p>8 BAD BOYS</p><br />
<p>9 LAUREL AND HARDY</p><br />

<p>I usually don't read "top ten lists" but I gotta say, my vote goes to the Darwin Awards post.&nbsp; The Darwins are fantastic.</p>

<p>&nbsp;</p><br />
<p>TOP 10 **** CHENEY EXCUSES VIDEO.</p><br />
<p><br /><br />


<p>My spring cleaning list with the ten most important things to do.</p><br />
<p>1. Dust off husband.</p><br />
<p>2. Make New Year's party guests go home.</p><br />
<p>3. Bulldoze the living room.</p><br />
<p>4. Set off major explosives in kitchen.</p><br />
<p>5. Try to find the part of the roof that blew off in last year's hurricane.</p><br />
<p>6. Locate parents of that stray toddler that's been here for two weeks.</p><br />
<p>7. Round up all stray dogs and pregnant cats and drop them off at my bosses house.</p><br />
<p>8. Move temporaty vegetable garden from bathroom to back yard.</p><br />
<p>9.&nbsp;Call exterminator..., was that a&nbsp;rat or a racoon?</p><br />
<p>10. If it doesn't breathe, consider putting it in the garbage.&nbsp;</p><br />

<p>How the fight started:</p><br />
<p>1. While at a restaurant the husband orders a steak for dinner. The waiter asked him if he was afraid of mad cow. The husband replied ,"No, she can order for herself"</p><br />
<p>2. While the wife was looking was looking in the mirror she was depressed and said," I'm Old, I'm fat and I have wrinkles, can you find anything good about me?&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;The husband's reply," Your eye sight is good".</p><br />
<p>3.The wife sat down beside&nbsp;her husband&nbsp;on the sofa,while he&nbsp;was flipping channels and asked'"What's on T.V?" His reply was ,"Dust"</p><br />
<p>4. The wife and husband were in bed watching ,"Who wants to be a Millionaire?". The husband turns to the wife and asks if she would like to have sex. She replies,"No". The husband then asks,"Is that your final answer?", she replies,"Yes".&nbsp;then he said,"I'd like to phone a friend"</p><br />
<p>5.Sunday morning the husband slips out of bed quietly,goes to the garage and hooks up the boat to the van to&nbsp;go fishing, he pulls out of the garage into pouring down rain and 50 mph winds. He turns on the radio and finds it's going to rain all day. he decides to forget about fishing and sneaks back up to bed. He comments to the wife,"It's miserable outside" The wife replied, "Yeah I can't believe my stupid husband has gone fishing in it". That when the fight started.</p><br />
<p>6. I rear ended a another car on the expressway this morning. So there we were alongside the road, the other driver gets out of his car. You know how you can get sooooo stressed that even little things seem so funny? Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... he was a DWARF!! He stormed over to my car, looked up at me and Shouted,"I AM NOT&nbsp;HAPPY!!" So I looked down at down at him and said,"Well, then which one are you?" That's how the fight started.</p><br />
<p>7.My wife was hinting what she would like for our upcoming anniversary. She said,"I want something shiny, that goes from zero to 150 in three seconds"&nbsp;&nbsp; So I bought her a bathroom scale.</p><br />
<p>8. When I got home last night, when I got home from work my wife demanded I take her someplace expensive. So I took her to the gas station.</p><br />
<p>9.After retiring I went to the social security office to file for social security. When asked for verification of my age, I realized I had left my wallet at home. I apologized to the clerk and told her I'd have to go back home for my wallet. She said open your shirt. I did and she said," That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me", she processed my claim and I went home. When I told my wife what happened, she said," You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability too. That's when&nbsp;the fight started.</p><br />
<p>10. At&nbsp;my 20 year&nbsp;high school reunion, my wife and I were sitting at a table,and the wife saw me starring at a woman across the way, drinking and sitting by herself. The wife asked me do you know her? I said yes we went together before we met. After we broke up I hear she became an alcoholic. The wife said," Wow that's a long time to celebrate" Then the fight started</p>

<p>Highlights of Nicholas Cages movie career!</p>

<p>I&nbsp;JUST&nbsp;KNOW&nbsp;ABOUT&nbsp;"&nbsp;How to Lose a Guy in (10) Days"! Too bad this doesn't count!</p>

Top Ten Ways George Bush Can Regain His Popularity<br />
Thursday June 9, 2005<br />
From the "Late Show With David Letterman":<br /><br />
10. Dip into social security fund to give every American free HBO<br /><br />
9. Use diplomacy to bring peace to Brad, Jen and Angelina<br /><br />
8. Try fixing Iraq, creating some jobs, reducing the deficit and maybe capturing Osama <br /><br />
7. Figure out a way for the Yankees to win a game<br /><br />
6. Replace his "country simpleton" persona with more lovable "hillbilly idiot" image<br /><br />
5. Use weekly radio address to give Americans a Van Halen twofer<br /><br />
4. Get Saddam to switch to boxers<br /><br />
3. Ditch the librarian and make Eva Longoria First Lady<br /><br />
2. Resign<br /><br />
1. Jump on Oprah's couch while professing his love for Katie Holmes<br />
<p>funniest question i heard.</p>

<p>Anything written by those two "brilliant" femanists, Germaine Greer and Jackie Collins.</p><br />
<p>They are both allegedly serious writers but everything they pen finishes up on the paper as being profoundly funny.&nbsp; </p>

<p>Top 10 things NOT to say before, during, or after SEX!</p>

<p>I have a list of 7, so does that count?&nbsp; Here it is:</p><br />
<p>The Stella awards&nbsp;(not all cases are proven true):</p><br />
<p>7th:&nbsp; A woman won a lawsuit for $80,000 against a furntiure store after breaking her ankle from tripping over a running toddler.&nbsp; The store owners were suprised by this, seeing as the toddler was the woman's own son.</p><br />
<p>6th:&nbsp; A man won $74,000 plus medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord.&nbsp; The man apparently didn't notice that there was someone at the wheelwhen he was trying to steal his neghbor's hubcaps.</p><br />
<p>5th:&nbsp; A man was leaving a house that he had just burgled by way of the garage when the automatic garage door opener malfunctioned and he couldn't get out.&nbsp; when he tryed to re-enter the house, he found that when he shut the door, it had automatically locked.&nbsp; He was forced to wait for 8 days surviving on a bag of dog food and some pepsi before he got out and sued the homeowner's insurance company for $500,000.</p><br />
<p>4th:&nbsp; A man was awarded $14,500 when his hand was bitten by his neighbor's beagle, which was on it's chain at the time.&nbsp; The man didn't get as much as he asked for, due to the fact that the dog had probably been provoked by being shot with a pellet gun by the same man 10 seconds earlier.</p><br />
<p>3rd:&nbsp; A woman sued a resuraunt for $113,500 because she slipped on a spilled soft drink and broke her tail bone.&nbsp; The reason the drink was on the floor?&nbsp; She had thrown it during an argument with her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier.</p><br />
<p>2nd:&nbsp; A woman sued a nightclub for $12,000 because she broke her two front teeth by falling while trying to sneak in through a bathroom window to avoid paying the $3.50 entry fee.</p><br />
<p>1st:&nbsp; A woman who bought a 32-foot Winnebago motor home was not aware that she wasn't supposed to leave the driver's seat while the cruise control was set to 70 mph to go make herself a sandwich.&nbsp; Not surprisingly, she crashed and sued Winnebago for not putting instructions not to leave the driver seat while the cruise control was set, and was awarded $1,750,000 AND a new motor home.&nbsp; Winnebago&nbsp;actually changed eir manuals as a result, just in case the woman had any relatives who wanted to buy a motor home.</p><br />
<p>do I win anything for posting all this?</p>

<p>Top ten things to say after/before/amd during you getting laid...</p>

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<p><strong>&nbsp; What an interesting Question!</strong></p><br />
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<p><strong>My list is too bad to tell anyone!</strong></p>