Who I Am; My Purpose In Life; and how a blind woman sees through feel.

Only God Knows Exactly Who We Really Are Through Our Hearts That Can Hide Absolutely Nothing.


Therefore no matter what our outward appearance and words may be, only God who is everywhere always knows all things so deeply that He already knows more about each individual than they know of themselves; and that is because of His unlimited wisdom and knowledge which is also fully aware of what the actual intents of our hearts genuinely and truly are; and most hearts are totally opposite from what the tongue releases in words, therefore it's as if the billions who believe in God are so full of love through words, but have empty glacier like hearts that cannot be hid from God no matter what their lips may say a thousand times.   

There is very little steady employment here in the Philippines, and what work can be got pays little. An average amount is about 250 peso a day or less than $5, yet this man with only one leg grabbed the chance to just earn anything possible. He is using a root cutter and rock buster to make digging easier.

This woman of 81 years still works her little cornfield, and she also has a root cutter that keeps the plow being pulled by a cow from getting caught. 

 These children live up in the mountains in a one room bamboo hut. Their dad is preparing some roots to boil for eating with rice.


My greatest wants are just the abilities of doing things for others, but when I can't even do for myself, it only hurts me as in neglecting others.

This woman cannot walk, therefore her life is pretty much all that you see. I wish that I had a huge box of the old Etcha Sketch plastic drawing boxes just for giving to people with nothing to do along with other little tidbits of just anything because I have learned through these past years that nothing to do can really be extremely hard on the body and mind, especially when through our past we became used to the road shutdowns working 12 hours a day seven days a week; and then going to only hunger with absolutely no life other than the same square mile through these past four years with only two brief escapes onto a couple other Philippine Islands which leaves only 7, 102 islands left for me to see. 


My grandmother just died at 104 on March 26, 2011, and I am thankful that I was able to talk with her in the summer of 2006 prior to leaving America on a one way ticket to the Philippines.  Last year my step mom died and the year before that my dad died. In March of this year my mother also died, and her husband last year plus two of my step brothers along with one of my aunts. We all come into this world, and we all exit at different times in different ways not of choice. 


Just some really cute little kids that I gave what I could, and their smiles were the greatest possible reward any human being can ever receive. If I was a man of great wealth my joys would be just always doing what I could for others everywhere because making someone else happy makes me and my wife happy also. 

This man is near 90, and he really wanted to earn some money, so for about 4 dollars he helped me with some carpenter work. 

Another with needs, and they are many on the streets of Dumaguete. Some without legs, arms, hands and other deformed body parts, so they just do the best they can and never complain.


Age matters not, if they can walk, they just do what needs doing such as this load on his head of kang kong food for baboi or pig in English.


Just friendly local people hard at work in their laundry room; and one day by God's grace I will be able to print and frame this picture to give them as a gift that they will truly cherish. It was about three years ago that I took this picture. 


 My wife leads girl scouts among very many activities with children.


And she had 60 first grade students last year and over 50 the year before in a very small classroom with only a ceiling fan for the cooling.


This year was 46 third graders that came to an end for summer vacation at the end of March, but she still stays busy in anything that hast to do with children and education including her own because she at 38 years of age is still gaining college credits each summer towards her masters so that she can become a school principle. 


In the schools here, there are no janitors or anyone at all for upkeep other than the children with sweepers and what the teachers can do along with just anyone who is willing to help. When a classroom needs work, the teachers and their husbands paint, clean and repair what they can with their own funds. 


This is the school c/f or comfort rooms {out house} for children.


And there is not even any water that runs inside them. In all of the uncountable times I go to the school all of the kids just love me, so we talk, laugh and they ask questions just because I am viewed as a rich American. All I ever want to do is things for the kids like running some PVC for water and using a pressure washer for clean up and an airless paint sprayer, or even building some kind of playground that they have not, but I am lucky just to have a roof and rice to eat, so I can do nothing but dream. But my hearts intent tells only truth that can hide nothing. 


The vehicle behind this little girl is an easy ride that goes back and forth between Dumaguete and Bacong. The cost for the full ride is 10 peso or 20 cents and the little van can hold up to ten people. Its a stop and go drive because people get on and off, so to own one can make about 500 peso a day or less than ten dollars, but at least its some income that I have had no way of making for years now. Plus if you don't drive those easy rides, you can rent them out for 300 per day or six dollars. The cost of a decent one is about $2500. 


One thing about kids in most places is that they are just happy, but sadly there are just to many places in this world with to many problems of wars, rebels, violence and crime for even children to be happy. 


My wife and I as a couple with 18 years difference in age both really love children because of their innocence, energy, thoughts actions and needs; therefore we often talk of adopting because so many are in a bad way and without parents, but when we ourselves are also, how can we properly raise a child with frustrated minds?  Well my wife could and really wants to adopt, but I am just not that comfortable when I have so little.  And because of this messed up world of man today, no children anywhere are raised and brought up in the ways they should grow; and the result is this world you see today with no roots on very unstable ground. But soon after the bad times will come the everlasting good times with the only ruler being God's kingdom, and that is what we all as human beings have that we can look forward to.


This woman earns her money by making big rocks into small stones with her hands and a hammer; and on a good day she can fill up to eight of those white sacks which brings her 200 peso or less than $4 for a hard days work. 


And she has been doing it for twenty years as a woman with little else that she can do because she is completely blind. With today's modern technology, Lazar surgery and only God knows what else, she perhaps could easily regain her sight for a small cost; and if I had the funds I would be the first to help her with only about five billion others in line that also need help.


One day this big old tree just decided it was time to lay down and rest.


And one full year later it was still in the same spot because the city workers and funds are few. The little store is a bake shop of which there are very many of everywhere because bread, rice and fish are the main foods with a variety of veggies. 


These two people are the owners of the small bake shop, and now it has been about three years since I took this picture of them that I always wanted print, put into a homemade bamboo frame and give it to them as a gift with some of the others of the tree because they would greatly appreciate a small surprise gift just as many other photos that I would like to print and give to many local people. My wife and I have a printer, but no ink because ink costs more than the printer. 


Through the years I have become greatly loved by kids and just people everywhere because through time people with eyes can only see ones goodness. Very many times as I have walked to the little open markets for small needs like rice I always take mental note of how many kids I pass, usually about 15, so at the store I will always get a about 20 lollipops just to give out on my return walk, and just giving something so small to a child brings on a smile like giving a thousand dollars to an adult because they are just very thankful children who are very real in their hearts, so their joy and smiles are my greatest reward. My wife and I both love doing things for others and always have whenever possible no matter how small it may be, and we always want to do more for many, but just can't do much. 


At the end of 2008 my wife's mom and dad came to visit us from a different island in the Philippines where they live. They are now about 80, have no income, and are just the kindest people one could ever meet, and Joshua and Clarita have very much faith even though nothing in life of any value whatsoever. Here they are just sewing what they have to wear.  


 In December Mylene and I went by ferry to visit her mom and dad in her home town where she had not been for seven years. This is her father at the back door opening of his home where my wife grew up.


Joshua's Harley with a sidecar.  


Such a fine structure.


The condition of the home my mother and father in law have lived in over 50 years is in a falling down condition with many roof leaks as an added bonus, yet they never complain. Of the less that one hundred a month my wife gets as a teacher through direct deposit, she always sends a thousand peso or twenty dollars to her mom and dad, but so far this year she has not even been able to do that because we are barely getting by ourselves. It was through another teachers loan on top of all her others that we were able to go and visit, and when we returned home I posted some pictures and just asked for any help whatsoever for my wife's mom and dad while feeling certain through faith that some help would come there way, and help as in just twenty dollars a month, but it never did just as it never does for my wife and I. I don't speak to complain, judge, accuse or anything else, I only speak as God leads to show all what He sees in this world of religion full of love, praise and glory to Him as God Almighty with their lips while being within a deceived world in darkness that can't even see their own massive storms approaching.

Moses did not choose God, it was God who chose Moses. Abram did not choose God, God chose Abram. Jacob who was Abram's promised seed had his named changed to Israel because it was God that chose him. So Israel was a man and not a country; therefore what's clear as day and easy to understand in the words of God is that the birthright blessings past down through Abraham's seed became the great nation promised in Genesis 12 which is the USA.  Jeremiah was chosen by God before he was even formed in the womb. Paul who was a great persecutor of Christians was also chosen by God on the road to Damascus. David was also chosen by God; and the whole point is that it is God who chooses who pleases Him by what only He can see within their hearts which has nothing to do with the way the people of this world judge everyone else by what they can see on the outside with where their own thought lead.

Moses killed an Egyptian, David laid with a married woman, got her pregnant, and then committed the pre-meditated murder of her husband Uriah. Jeremiah asked God if He was a liar, Paul not only did things he did not want to do, but before he was even chosen he allowed the deaths of many believers. At this time all God is seeking are those chosen to become as firstfruits within His kingdom; and firstfruits are those with hearts and the faith to overcome the god of this world, because it is only those who will be worthy to reign with Christ as teachers, kings, priests or whatever their spiritual gifts may be for permanent placement within the government of God. Isaiah 9:6-7

Just ask yourself what good a world of believers with no love or even faith to overcome the god of this world would be to God as leaders and teachers in His kingdom when they themselves could not even be taught through His words in the Holy Bible that were written for instruction?  


So far my education began twenty years ago, but Moses has eighty years of life's education prior to his 40 years of leading Israel in the wilderness, so just to reach his level of knowledge will take me another 60 years; and then I need another 40 of hands on experience with a rebellious people just as this world today. So says God, but who believes our creator for His every word? Most certainly not the religions of man that believe what man falsely teaches as the blind leading the blind with no love in their hearts for others that God looks for; and He weighs us all by our actions. 1 Samuel 2:3

We all have faults and we all have needs, therefore I just do the best that I can do in faith by God’s lead with a great sadness that only few will hear truth prior to the great tribulation. Because the words of our Lord are pure and refined, look to only them and never man with Proverbs 1:22-32 being the many with verse 33 as the few.

The pure and absolute truth of matters concerning knowledge of the Holy One which is the fear of the Lord all depends of just what God gives us according to our works because we can gain nothing ourselves or through man, therefore this world of religion who does not like me is because I am not one of them just exactly as Christ said in John 15:18-21. Therefore rather than boast as they judge me, I know only what God gives me which is as nothing when compared with the extremely high levels of intelligence in this deceived world of the religions of man; and that is because the prideful wisdom of man with the spirit of man are to themselves geniuses, but to God the spirit of man has not His Spirit, therefore does not even know Him. God chose Ezekiel and gave him a message to deliver, and even told him that the scorpions {church} would not hear him or like him, yet Ezekiel just did what he had been told to do. Read Ezekiel chapter two with you as the church and me with a message that you don't want to hear. 


Over four years ago God placed me in the Philippines with no money, no life and no where to go other than to only Him through His words with time and many hardships that only increased my faith. And it is only when we grow at a steady rate through faith that turns into a total dependence upon our creator that there are no longer any words to describe what cannot be seen or felt because it is only blind faith which has become as my only fuel with His words as my only blood flow for life itself.

And added to those words are only the pure facts that there have been many times since I was 12 years old that I should have become very dead. So when it comes to God and His purpose, nothing is by chance. In God's time there will be someone somewhere who can relate well with the words in 1 Corinthians 2:13, but until that time, all who read what I write will remain as the words of God in verse 14. 

God also knew that I could not in any way make it in a foreign country by myself, so He supplied me with a wife who is eighteen years younger, full of very strong faith, and was untouched by man when we met four years ago. When we have no food to eat, she prays daily and so do I, plus we also pray together. When evil people treat her in evil ways, she prays for God to correct them, and her last prayer for God to correct someone gave that person a stroke. As in now she has gotten so many loans that she can get no more, and her borrowed money is because I have never been able to earn any to assist in our very small needs. And its not as if I have not tried in many very great ways through the years, it's just that God put me exactly where I am for the purpose of building strong faith while telling believers what they refuse to believe.  


This link below is another of my many writings; and it has to do with the buildings of man called churches, tithes, and what God expects; and its not the taking of your money in the ways of man.



We all have some hopes and dreams; and mine are of this rehabilitation program that not only drug users and alcoholics need, but anyone in this world who wants a taste of what life will be like in God's kingdom while they are also being spiritually prepared to stand strong in the coming great tribulation with a very strong faith that totally depends on God for all things with the elimination of man and his fleshly ways that only bring a false light that hides darkness.



A writing on the Word that all believers are to live by, but don't!


timesoftrouble timesoftrouble
61-65, M
7 Responses Apr 12, 2011

There is but only one true education, and the only educator of this entire world is God Almighty; therefore any education through man regarding the things unseen in His spirit world are completely worthless because they are in the flesh. A perfect example is Seminary because people go to learn about God, but how is it possible for anyone to learn about God and His Spirit when the teachers have absolutely no idea of who He truly is? The Catholics will teach you their ways, the Methodists theirs, the Christians their way while the other 33,000 religions of man teach you their ways when there is but only one God and one Spirit and only one truth, therefore when God says that this whole world has been deceived, we all have our own choice in what to believe, God, or man, and with that fact, 99.9% believe man which leaves only 1/10th of one percent, and even 99% of them have been deceived because they still put trust in man which cannot be done. So when God speaks . . .<br />
<br />
"The words of the Lord are pure words; as silver tried in a furnace of earth, purified seven times."<br />
<br />
We have no choice but to believe every word that He speaks in faith with no question or doubts, therefore when God says of Himself. . .<br />
<br />
"The Lord looked down from heaven upon the children of men, to see if there were any that did understand, and seek God."<br />
<br />
And what did He see?<br />
<br />
"They are all gone aside, they are all together become filthy: there is none that doeth good, no, not one." Psalms 12:6, 14:2-3<br />
<br />
As I write, I am hungry, tired and to poor for paying an electric bill that is overdue at 1050 peso, and in the US dollar that's equal to about twenty one dollars. I also have 20% loans of 500 peso which is about ten dollars that I can't even pay; and with that just years of a day at a time with breads on credit, fish on credit, rice on credit and whatever little items are needed. <br />
<br />
The reason that God can see no, not one is because I have way over a hundred thousand views of my writings with over 300 posts, and not one person who cares, and God is love, therefore any without love cannot even know Him. <br />
<br />
So God has placed me in years of 1 John 3:15-18 and Proverbs 21:13 only to teach me that without Him as God, I would have absolutely nothing, but with Him I have been blessed with the faith to endure. <br />
<br />
So never ever trust in man for anything, because the spirit of man knows not the Spirit of God. 1 Corinthians chapter 2.

I feel like adding this.When I first converted and became a Christian I then studied to become a teacher,God guided me through many dreams.But you know what,we I finished my 4 years of traing and university studies.He sent me to the poorest school in the province.( I know that because He said as much to my mother in a clear an loud voice:"Leave it to Me".) There He guided me again and in stead of teaching English which I was trained for I taught biblical Studies.,A professor that was retired and teaching Bibilical Studies resigned and I was given that post.(Just prior to the appointment I dreamed: "How can you teach about Jesus Christ when teaching Geography - yes I taught that as well as history,but that is not the point.<br />
Actually,I still did not understand and I did not go beyond my teaching duties.Then I dreamed that I was not performing so well (when in fact I was doing quite weel with the students academically).I dreamed that the principal came to me and took the Bib Studies text book away from me.I dreamed that twice.And that is exactly what happened.He deciided to scrap BIB STudies and replaced it with tourism.After that I taught English to the Gr 12's (final school year here) but got very sick with stress.and had to retire.<br />
Lots more to say on this subject,but you know . .talking about being sent to the poorest school . .God is so different (with me??) . .,for example,when I dream about getting a dog it is not just any dog,but a dog that somebody puts out of his/her car before driving away quickly.<br />
God just works differently . .and we must try and understand that.I can see you do,but with many (99,99999%) other people.I really just don't know<br />

Thanks much for the compliment because my whole life is only writing with an old bought used slow computer that really shorts out my mind with great aggravation because its even more brain dead then me; and I had a part extracted back in 1988 and its really been catching up lately while living on only faith, but I do thank my Lord that its possible only because He gives inner peace to deal with hard times. With faith all that we know is that God Almighty knows all things, so we just wait while accepting what is. Its not like men of God through history had it easy; and what Paul went through in 2 Corinthians 11:23-27 is a good example that should make believers thankful for what they have while not being stoned.

Great post and ditto timesoftrouble

The closer any individual becomes to God, the further from this world they become, therefore all of their thoughts, ways, reasoning and words become as foolishness unto this world's people through the religions of man who do not look only to God with faith and trust in His every word. But when we eliminate man with their ways, doctrines and traditions along with their cold hearts that know not the love of Christ, we just believe God when He says this whole world has been deceived; and we believe God when He looked down from heaven upon the children of men to see if there were any that did understand, and seek God, but what He saw is that they have all gone aside, they have all together become filthy, there is none that doeth good, no, not one. Psalms 14<br />
<br />
Today we live in a world with over three billion believers, and God is loved, praised and honored, but only through lips with hearts that completely reject Him; and God chose me long ago to become a living witness through experiences because He knew that my faith would never waver through much cruelty from a world of religious love that ends at their tongue. 1 John 3:15-18 <br />
So I just accept a very lonely and hard life with a world of false brethren just as Paul had to deal with in 2 Corinthians 11:26, and just as Moses had to deal with through 40 years in the wilderness of sin. Thanks for your comment.

Praise the lord

Got some cool reasoning going on, the tree of life reasoning blog.<br />
http://thatlifeyahwehhas.blogspot.com/search?updated-min=2011-01-01T00:00:00-08:00&updated-max=2012-01-01T00:00:00-08:00&max-results=12<br />
<br />
Thanks for sharing your story, cool stuff.