Never Been 100%

i know the formula for being the best christian i can be. i just dont follow it.  sometimes i can be the type of christian i read about in the bible. but other times i completely forget about God. sometimes my mind isnt even on him, and thats horrible. it takes me forever to repent after i'd messed up. i dont listen to the right kind of music and non of my friends my age are christians. that and my mother are holding me back. fear of people holds me back and sometimes its even lack of faith and doubt if im really honest. but i cant make excuses for myself. i know that Jesus is my Lord and Savior and that he died for me and that he lives today. i know how to pray but the only time i do it is when i bless the food. i used to read the bible everyday now its only when i need something. i want it. i want it more than anything but i havent been able to take it. i know what i need to do, its just a matter of doing it. 

LEX1709 LEX1709
18-21, F
Mar 27, 2009