Relief

Yes I finally did it. I shared My Secret 2 days ago. I carried this with me for over 30 years. After writing I laid on my bed and shook physically, it was the shock, I'd told someone, lots of people.

I've known from a young age, I've always been different, a loner, a softie, not macho at all, however hard I tried. Girls or now women have nearly always been friends rather than girlfriends or lovers.

I think this is why, I'm female in a male body. After years of denial I have been able to admit it. I've always felt guilty, ashamed, maybe even dirty and disgusted at myself and terrified somebody would find out.

But what now, I can stay as I am and continue living a lie, or do I act and do something about it. But if I do I can never truly have what I want and be complete.

I've more to tell, more to get off my chest and unburden myself and will do so. But for now I can say again, I truly want to be a woman and may have now found the strength and courage to become one.
deleted deleted
26-30
2 Responses Jan 18, 2013

Precious... The longer you procrastinate from the inevitable and reach out for the truth. The harder life becomes. I thought I could be just as I was. The Guy!! But the more I suppressed the strong feminine spirit within the more I became depressed and angry. Once i started to Living in the truth and and began to shape with others of who I really was, the freer of a lifetime of the burden of lies I became more open and willing to engage with people. With new possibilities I'm becoming more and more happier than one can imagine. True it takes courage and strength but we have shown that and much more, all of us GURLS. Journey forward!!! Lol

You can overcome this thing. Dont think becoming a women will be easy... there will be 1000 issues just in the transitiing and then again getting old as a women is not easy when u dont have a good partner which is difficult enough for a biological woman to find far less a transwomen. God puts u in a body of his choice for a reason.

sorry just ignore what i said. Just rust god and do what ur heart tells u n be brave about it.