:( It's Never Going To Happen...

I have two daughters: One is 31, married (for 3 yes, together 13 yrs.) and is a teacher. The other is 24 and is estranged from the family. I have always wanted to be a Grandmother, but my oldest daughter has decided she doesn't want children. Her husband would like to, but will go along with her wishes. I'm having a hard time with this, although I haven't expressed that to my daughter. I'm trying to be understanding and supportive, but the reality is I'm accepting of it because I have to be, but I'm having a very difficult time being supportive of a decision I believe in my heart she will regret one day. I'm filled with sadness about this and I don't understand it. I practically live around the corner from my daughter and son-in-law. She knows I would babysit on a full-time basis, and be there whenever they needed time together as a couple. They are both employed with good jobs and own their own home. I just don't understand how my daughter has no maternal instinct (she said she's never had the "urge" to have a baby). I wonder if there's something about the way I mothered her that makes her not want to be a mother, but I truly can't think of anything.I was divorced from her father when she was very young (she doesn't remember us living together). My ex-husband (as well as my ex-mother-in-law) and I have always maintained a good relationship. We all attended the important events in her life together. My daughter has a great relationship with my husband who has been her step-father since she was 5. I am struggling to understand this and would like to hear from others who have experienced a similar situation.
cinkatmom cinkatmom
2 Responses May 7, 2012

Well! May I just say being a gran is a hard job! You know I like to drink my iced tea!

I have your problems oliss I feel your pain:(

Well garda! I was once a young setler! I've been around the barn a couple of times!

You know it you smell sash!

The decision to have a child is really up to the parents and there is no guarantee in life you will be a grandmother just because you are a parent. Maybe your daughter has legitimate reasons for not wanting to have a child. Regardless, it is out of your hands. Focus on other ways to be happy..volunteer with children, be grateful for the family you do have..some people don't even have that.