Just Discovered Myself

At the ripe old age of 49 I have discovered why I have suffered anxiety and panic attacks. It is because of People! I played the game for years, putting up with rude, loud, obnoxious behavior and watching society move on in a way that I did not want to participate in. I am not anti-social, just anti invade my space. I live in the country and see no need to leave it unless I really need something. That list of really need should begin to dwindle as I become more self sufficient through homesteading. Hopefully this is an active site and there will be feedback from others.

oldiowaguy oldiowaguy
51-55, M
3 Responses Mar 26, 2009

I'm 25 and always were kind of a hermit (not a pure hermit, since books and movies are a human product, more of a loner/dreamer/nerd mix). And honestly, even owning a cell phone gets on my nerves. I want to interact with others only when I REALLY feel like it.<br />
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I don't think one needs to lock themselves in their room, though-just keep human interaction at a minimal in order to have a ton of time for yourself. For example, getting a job with minimal social obligations, or to politely excuse yourself to do the housework when things get too tense, or to get absorbed in a book you really like which means others won't talk to you as much e.t.c. The impact of good books can be almost drug-like: I may find myself being half-into a book for hours after I've finished it, and dreaming like this weakens a lot the annoyment from social interactions (it's inspiring, too). Anywayz, the need is minimal human interactions, so that I can always have time to calm down and/or think on them without getting a headache.

LOL - I find it interesting how we discover later in life that the things we worked and sacrificed for in our younger years were all pretty much silly. I am 57 and have spent the better part of my life trying to 'keep up with the Jone's' (that phrase sure dates me doesn't it). For the past 3 years I have been trying to discover who I really am and what I want to do with the rest of my life. I find I like peace and quiet. I so enjoy watching the sun go down and listening to oldies. No more meetings to run between for me.

Pleased to know that I am not the only one on earth that has the "hermit" desire; only problem I have in moving to LIVE that way is fact I have a husband and two (grown) kids and my "hermit" dream is affecting them negatively. Having said that, I have ALWAYS wanted to be a hermit since a kid of age 10 or so (I am now pushing 50). I remember gazing at the mountains and somehow KNOWING that is where I belonged. Alas, I too "played the game" for last 40 years -- trying, trying, trying, to FIT IN to the expected social, economic, family norms (I ain't freakin' normal, OK)....anyways, my choice or desire is not good news for any one that comes in contact with me unfortunately. My daughter (age almost 22) just said; "are you trying to kill your keyboard?". Guess my typing speed/noise/force is, one, annoying her (she could just move out) and/or gives away my frustration, anger and despair with my life. I guess....