First One

One of the worst parts about growing up is the failed attempts to recapture your childhood.  I think about the things that made me happy as a kid, toys, books, games, activities, etc.  In my mind, they look so perfect.  So I find them online and buy them or download them or I dig them out of the attic or whatever, and they just aren't satisfying anymore.  I remember why I didn't bother to keep track of them in the first place.

So that's what really sucks about growing up.  It isn't that the experiences are gone, it's that you're too jaded to appreciate them.  I can't enjoy Saturday morning cartoons anymore, no matter how much I try.  I even bought DVDs of the shows I used to watch as a kid, and mostly I'm just bored with them.  I don't just want my kid's toys back, I want my kid's mind.  I want to have never played Super Mario Brothers 3; I want to have never seen that episode of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles; I want to open up those Micro Machines for the first time.  I just want to go back, because this is too hard.  I'm no good at this anymore.  I got old, but I never matured.  I'm just a 26-year-old loser living in his parents' basement.  My friends are getting married and having kids, and I'm terrified of the future.  I miss Summer lasting forever.  I miss the weekends meaning I didn't have to do anything but play sports.  I miss being able to eat whatever I wanted without a problem.

If there were any way to go back, at all, I'd give anything to do it.