I Want to Be God's Psychologist

That deity clearly has some serious issues.

There is His extreme, unpredictable mood swings.

He is prone to violence and deep paranoia.

He is deeply, deeply xenophobic, mildly homophobic and more than a little misogynistic.

He has indulged in child abuse (see: Crucifixion)

It would be fascinating to get God on the couch and really explore where some of His anger comes from. Is it just ordinary run-of-the-mill schizophrenia (which might be treatable with the proper medications) or was He possibly abused as a child by a more powerful deity? Keep in mind that according to Intelligent Design any sufficiently complex life form REQUIRES a Designer, thus a life form as complex as God would require an even more complex deity to create Him. Could that heretofore unknown super-deity have physically abused God in such a way that produced this complex mass of neuroses, anger and vague feelings of persecution/betrayal?

And is there a connection between God's homophobia and the fact that we, uh, how to put this delicately? God's never had a goddess. Yes, He does have one kid...but according to the Bible He never actually had sex with that woman Mary. He just sort of went the artificial insemination route. I mean Zeus banged everything that wasn't nailed down, but God apparently didn't like the idea of actual sex. *cough*At least not with a woman*cough*

C'mon. Doesn't this sound all to familiar? He loudly proclaims that homosexuals are an abomination....but when it comes time to get with Mary He takes a pass? He's never seen with any goddess or chicks of any kind?

I'm just saying!

niceguyinhell niceguyinhell
31-35, M
4 Responses Apr 28, 2009

Yes....Spiteful little ****, that god chap (as Randolph Churchill -Winston's nephew- said on reading the bible for the first time).<br />
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Love the story - on the strength of this and others I bought your book (I have a creative project of my own on the go)

This is one of the reason I've rediscovered the pagan origins of most of modern Christianity, the things those guys considered most holy were Sex and Ale.<br />
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These were removed when they realized a sexually frustrated prayer-base waged better wars and they lost the monopoly on brewing they once had in much of europe. Now that the church no longer has its own army or brewery, it's sour grapes if you ask me.

You win many many internetz for this

You get the new top award for offending the dogma worshiping part of society. :P