Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device

I Want to Be a Mommy So Bad It Hurts.....

I'm 23 years old and my fiance is 27 we've been together for 4years now and very happy and still in love.  We are getting married next year August but i can't wait so long.  We have unprotected sex but he doesn't ********* inside me he is very careful.  My problem is and i really need some advice from you guys my fiance is a perfectionist and everything must be planned for he have some issues regarding having kids he wants enough money for everything he don't want to look anybody in the eyes to help us.  i totally agree with that but i wanted a baby for two years now and its getting really bad its driving me crazy.  If we plan well we can afford to have a baby but he still don't want to give me one not yet is his words.  i tried everything but he doesn't understand what I'm going through.  i feel that we proved enough to each other to show that we will work out as a couple and the next step is having a baby.  Its was also a issue to set a wedding date with him, its like he wants all the pleasure of a marriage but he doesn't want to make the commitment and i feel that he is being selfish.  I also have dreams and longing for certain things.  i found myself everyday looking through baby books and clothes and thinking how would it be if i could have my own little miracle.  I'm actually thinking about tricking him but why should i thats not the way i planned it to be i want him to want it as badly as i do.  Every time I'm with my girlfriends who all have kiddies i get so depressed that i shut myself out from everybody and just cry and pray that it would happen to me to.  I'm also scared that maybe something is wrong with me cause we had sex for more then 3 years and nothing is happening not even a little mistake....  Please could you give me some advice on how  to change my fiance mind to set our wedding date earlier, and how to show him that I'm ready to have his baby and i cant wait another year or maybe longer cause what if i don't get pregnant fast it could be 2 years and i really cant wait that long anymore.

Loula Loula 22-25 37 Responses Sep 23, 2008

Your Response

Cancel

My boyfriend and I have been together since I was 16 now I'm 28 and he'll be 39. He doesn't want to get married or have ah child in the near future if u ask me. All he keep saying is he's not ready, and wouldn't talk about it with me. We live together for about 2 yrs, with his mom and dad, he's the one child he got no sibling.

Shame on you, at only 23. Tell us all how bad you want to be a Mom when you have gone through fertility and still can not have a baby. You should like such a selfish little girl you should not be allowed to have a child. You need to grow up first. Having a baby is a blessing not a wish.

You are a rude, ignorant human being. Shame on you, for being so pathetic.

I don't know if you will read this but I want an update. I am 24 and my boyfriend is 25. We have been together 10 years. I can't get him to propose or even think about babies. I don't know how to deal with this. It physically hurts my heart to see my friends and family having babies. I dontknow how to handle this. I want to talk to someone who might understand.

Are you on birth control?

I have been with my husband for 7 years and we've been married for 2. I am 26 years old and he is 29. I've always wanted a child, but he always came up with an excuse to wait longer. He wants to save up money, which I agree. However, how much money is enough? When we saved up a substantial amount, I brought up having children. Now he says we need a nicer house. So, I look at houses. But he doesn't even help me look for houses. When I've seen one that I think we both would like & is in our price range he says that he's not ready to buy one within this year (said this in January). It kills me to see my friends having kids and they haven't been with their man very long & JUST got married a month before. I am happy for them, but my heart hurts so much. I feel like my husband will make me wait until it's too late to conceive. So, I totally understand. It's frustrating! But whatever you do, DON'T TRICK HIM! He'll end up resenting you or the child and it should be a wonderful moment for BOTH of you. If it really get's to be too much, then perhaps you should try marriage counseling. It'll help with communicating your wants/needs and make a compromise.

:(

Same here! Im 20 and been married over a year and with my husband for 4. I want a baby so bad and is not ready. I tell him I want it before im 25 but her just fusses about how im pressuring him. Ugh! I dont know if I can wait any longer. I feel ill never get it unless I trick him or leave him but I dont want to either. Idk what to do. Im so lost

I am so happy I came across this article because I go through this daily. sometimes I wonder if I am the only person who feels this way. I fight the feeling everyday but I strongly have the urge to be a mom. I have been pregnant once but had a miscarriage and since then I haven't gotten pregnant again. the thought that I may not be able to conceive a child often crosses my mind. sometimes I have this overwhelming feeling but don't feel I can talk to anyone because I don't think they would understand how I truly feel. glad to know that they are others out there who also feel this way and it's not just me.

I known its been some time since you wrote on here but I need some guidance. My boyfriend and I have been together for 10 years. I am about to be 24 and he's 25 now. I can't get him to think about proposing let alone a baby. But I want a baby so bad. I know we should be married and things but I don't know. It doesn't change that my heart hurts. I was pregnant twice but list the baby. I don't know my heart hurts and I feel so alome

Girl I hear u loud and clear. I just got married last June and I also wanted a baby really bad. So what I did was I bought a pregnancy test online from possitivepregnancytest.com, this test even with water will always come out positive. So I bought a few and I told my then fiancé that I was pregnant and kept showing him that it wa really positive, then I told him I made a dr. Appt and he believed me. So for that whole month before the "appt" we continued having sex and I told him he could you know inside me since I was already pregnant and so he did, we had sex almost everyday so by the time the "appt" came along I was about 2 weeks pregnant:)))) my daughter is now 3 months old and I'm extremely happy:D

Hi
I am in the same boat as you! I'm 30years old and want more than anything to be a mommy!!! We are not using protection and he's "not careful" either. I'm so scared that I can't have kids. He hasn't said "yes" to us really trying but also has not said no technically. He did say he wanted to wait until we are more stable, but what is that really?? I mean, it cost to raise a kid. If you cut out going out there ya go. There's kid $$$ haha ;) I wouldn't say trick your hubby to be. I would talk to him and tell him how you are feeling. My bf knows how upset I am each month that I'm not prego and I feel he's coming around. Plus. I'm 30! I need to be getting on w/ it ha! Anyway. I wish all the best for you! Prayers your way!

I am 21 years old, I have been married for almost 3 years, I got married when I was 18 and my husband was 19. My husband has a great full time job, that supports us with money left over. I have saved back some money in a savings for when we decide to have kids to pay for some baby things like a crib, changing table, ect ect, and we both have been reading up on baby web md so we know what to expect. We both want a baby really bad, the only thing that is holding us back is that we are trying to sell the house we live in now and are currently trying to build a house on our ranch. I know it would be smart to wait until we finish our house on our ranch but idk if I can wait that long.. I want a baby sooooo bad..... Idk what we should do

Gosh don't know were to start but I been trying since I was 14 I'm 23 and not even a miscarried???? My final step is a doctor I cry to myself because I don't know how to come to someone about this subject glad I found this but my mom has 9 so I was just thinking if she can then being very fertile should have been pass down that felt good letting out HELP tired of being a "anti-partent" to much love to give!!!

I'm in a very similar boat to alot of you. I'm 22 and my boyfriend is 28 we have been together for a bit over a year, I've been ready for a baby for 4 years. I want to be a mum so bad and I've always wanted to be a young mum and have had all my kids by the time I'm 30 so I'm around for as much of their lives as possible and have the energy to handle them better, my partner however wants to wait till the "time is right" but I don't know what better time then now/next year. We own one house and will be buying a second next year, we both have stable jobs and could handle a baby financially, but he says he wants to wait at least another 3 years and even then he doesn't know if he will be ready. I can't wait that long and I don't know what to do as wanting to be a mum is driving me crazy now, can anyone please help me?!

I dont know what to do im 21 and my fiance is 18 and we both want kids so bad but our parents are still young to because they had us at a young age and they keep pushing it at us that they arent ready to be grandparents yet so we should wait but i have a spare room where i live that i sit in on my laptop just looking at baby stuff imaging playing with my kids in there having my kids wrap there arms around me or me putting them to bed at night. all my friends had babies in high school and right after graduation and i thought i was being smart by waiting but its getting to the point now where all i think about is how much i wanna be a mom how much i wanna have a child of mine to love and care for and watch grow just wanna hear them say i love you momma i see my best friend who is 20 now with here 2 daughters and how happy she is even though shes a single mom and barally getting by having to take car of a 3 year old and 6 month old. i figure if shes barally getting by on her own and still able to care for her two daughters then with me having to jobs and my fiance having a full time job and out own place we would be able to get by. but i cant seem to be around his parents or mine without them reminding me that we better be using protection because they dont wanna be grandparents and im so scared to even try because im scared of what they will say or do even though it shouldnt be up to them i dont know what to do anymore my faince sees how bad im hurting and he ask me all the time if this time we could do it with out a condom but then i just see my parents being so mad at me

My only advice is to go with your gut and what you feel is best for you and your partner. If you are both ready to start to a family your parents might be mad at first but they will get over it and be over the moon for you

Hey. Let me first off say that I am also 23 and just got married this past May after being engaged for a year and a half, and being together for four years before that. I am grateful that we waited because we were able to plan and have things the way we wanted for the wedding and didn't have to settle for anything less. Yes, it was A LOT of waiting and patience but the end result was perfect. Now, four months later I want a baby more than ever. I feel like we have been waiting for ever and I'm not sure what people mean when they say that we need to wait longer. Like what am I supposed to be waiting on? My husband is 26, and I want us both to be able to be around and not be old by the time our child is our age. We want to be in their lives as much as possible. Our plan is now that we want to buy a house (we are renting one now) and then take the next step to decide to stop taking the birth control pill that I have been on for six years. I just want to look at everything including myself, and see what the root of this feeling is. Like what do I want to prove? Will a child make me happy? Things like that. I think a child shouldn't be brought into this world to make someone else feel better, or anything like that. So, I definitely feel your pain.

I'm really kind of in the same boat, but already married. I'm 24 years old, and I had my first child at 20. My parents threatend me, and i ended up placing him fo adoption. A year ago my husband and i were on the verge of divorce and living in two different states. Six days after my son's birthday I got pregnant and a few months later my husband and I got back together. He told me he couldn't handle something that wasn't his, even though I got pregnant at a ***** bank, so I ended up placing my daughter with my son's family a few months ago. I had to take a pregnancy test a few weeks ago, and my husband actually seemed a little disappointed that it came out negative. But at the same time, when we talk about having kids, he's talking about ten years down the road when everything is perfect and I can't wait that FREAKING long. I can't. I don't want to trick him but I am so ready to just be a mom, and have a family. Help me please somebody.

Your so stupid your old enough to make your own decisions. Stop having kids if your gonna give them up for adoption its not fair to them your selfish and only thinking about yourself

I'm 19 years old and I go to bed everyday thinking about having a baby and I wake up everyday thinking about bring a mommy. I almost feel physically depressed when i think about it because i have never wanted anything so badly. I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years and he keeps saying " we will when you're older" ( he's 4 years older then I am) Sometimes i think maybe he is right and i try to push this heavy feeling away but it always comes back to me. I just can't shake this. I never really thought about it but i agree with some comments on here that a women's body just know's when it wants a new life inside it. I just don't know what to do. It's a daily struggle and I wish i could make him understand how i feel but I just don't know how. People say " wait till your married" " wait till your done with school" " wait till you older" Well, you know what?! I'm happy with my man , we are strong together and don't *need* marriage to make us stronger because we don't believe it will change how we feel about each other. Also, it bothers me how people say that once you have a kid you will never be able to go back to school. I have never let hard things in life get between me and education. This education is to help my child grow. why would I cease that. I love my boyfriend no matter what and I would never leave him but I don't know if i can wait much longer.

Wow, I'm in the same situation as you. My fiancé is the same way. Been together for four years, getting married in two. I want to get married next year, but he didn't want to feel rushed. He still fusses about it being in two years. He tells me he wants a baby, but he wants to wait a few years after we're married. I'll be 24 when we get married (him 28). I want a baby by 25, but he wants me to wait till I'm 28 or 29. I'm ready right now. I don't know why he says he wants this, but yet he wants to wait. Doesn't make sense to me.

I feel you.. i am 25.. my fiance is 30.. and we are together 10 years now.. he is still afraid of the commitment (even if we live together the past 4 years ) he also wants to be "rich" so he can have babies (its like our parents were rich when they had us.. not even close) i really love him but all this thingy is driving me crazy! i know how you feel when you see babies.. or your friends with their babies..! god help us to change their minds! :(

i was pregnant twice before and lost them both the first one i was 6 1/2 months and i went to the Dr to find out the sex and shehad previously tested positive for down syndrome and she was dead i had to be induced and after 14 hours in delivery my dead daughter was born and i was crushed no way any woman should have to go through that... i wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy... my second I was 9 Weeks and lost it and my body wouldn't pass the egg so i had to have a d&c and me and my fiancee have been trying for the past 9 months and i was told my uterus was at a dangerous slant and i might not be able to carry safely and my fiancee now refuses to try and i want a baby so bad... its almost unbearable any comment i hope i'm not the only woman who has been through a loss that far along and not at least get to see your baby grow up i lost a part of me that day

Hi I know what your going through I lost my daughter 9 1/2 months ago when I was due anyday I got a bad infection and acid got to her. I had just found out I was pregnant again and just went through another miscarriage which I'm so sad about. I'm wanting that feeling of being a mom so bad. Im not going to give up. I been with my now husband for a total of 14 years I'm 28 and he is 32. Things can be possible and I'm still hoping and praying everyday.

I am 18 and my boyfriend is 14 years older than me don't judge, we have a fairly large age gap but it works we have been together for nearly three years, we both work and have a fairly good income combined, I have talked to him about trying, but he says I am too young I know I am young but I feel it is all I want in life to be a mother, people forget my age as I am a lot different to the nomal 18 year old, I will wait till I am older but it hurts when all you do is think about it I love my partner so much and I will wait till when the time is right it is just going to be so hard. I am so interested in pregnancy everything about it and find myself constantly reading up on it all the time. If I could ask one thing in the world it would be for child.

Hey all, everyone on here sounds kind of like me. I've been married to the man of my dreams for almost 2 years now. We've had a lot of times where we've thought I was pregnant, but to no avail. All I want is to be a mom, and it seems that everyone around me is having babies. I'm 21 soon to be 22 and my husband is almost 29. We have only been together for 3 years, but I feel like we're ready for a baby. I keep telling him I need something other than him to take care of, either a baby or a pet, but I know he's not going to go for it. I can understand him wanting to wait before, since I was still in school, but I'm graduating college next month, and he's getting a raise soon, and he should be getting a LOT of hours this summer, so financially we're not in that bad of a situation. I lay in bed at night and just think about what it would be like to have a baby growing inside of me. Everyone tells me I'll be a great mom, but I want to have a baby so bad I feel like sometimes I'm being a bad wife. I've stopped bugging my husband about having a baby, but before I was bugging him almost all the time, telling him statistics like how it takes a healthy couple (us) anywhere from 6 months to a year to conceive. I don't know what to do. I keep praying about it, asking God to put it into his heart to start a family, but nothing happens. He doesn't even bring it up anymore. (He said earlier this year that we'd start trying in a year or so, but I'm not sure why he has to wait like this) I mean, I know I'm only 21 and that I 'have my whole life ahead of me, and should take this time to enjoy my time with my husband' as all the people who don't have children tell me, but I think that a baby would be the most beautiful thing ever. I don't want to trick him, because one of my friends tricked her fiancee (now husband) into getting pregnant, and they're due next month or something like that. She tried talking me into tricking my husband, but once I decided I wouldn't it's like she doesn't even want to talk to me anymore. I lost a friend over not tricking my husband. It's not that big a deal, I'd rather have my husband than 100 friends, but it still hurt that she was only interested in being my friend because I hadn't decided not to trick my husband. It is literally all I can think of, and it's driving me crazy. I have it all planned out: where the baby will sleep, what I'll feed it, what it will wear, possible names, when I'll go back to work, all that stuff I have figured out, I just need a baby. =( Thanks for listening.

I was 19 when I first got pregnant. I found out when I was 5 months along and I had no symptoms. I still spotted every month so I thought I was having a very strange period, but this wasn't unusual for me to spot or not have a period for a couple of months. So any way, before I could get used to being pregnant, I got very, very sick, I needed IV fluids because I couldn't keep food down and I was losing amniotic fluid and the doctors couldn't figure out why. My son was born on Oct. 21st 2007 at 28 wks. I was so scared and I had no idea what to do. I was in nursing school at the time, and he was unemployed, we weren't ready to have a baby in our lives. So we gave him up for adoption. Now almost 5 yrs later, I still regret my decision. I miss him everyday, and now I long for a baby so bad. I know it might sound stupid and I'm not trying to replace him, but I didn't know it was gonna be this hard. I didn't know that everytime I close my eyes at night, I would see him and hear him calling for me. I'm torn apart inside. Now I have a steady paying job and I'm marrying my boyfriend of 7 1/2 yrs in a few months. I'm going crazy. I even started buying and saving baby clothes for when the time comes, but my boyfriend isn't ready yet. He said in a few years we can try but I'm torn up inside. I feel so depressed and I cry for no reason. I just feel so bad about giving up my baby, I want to be a mother more than anything in the world, I did back then, but I had nothing to support my son with. Absolutely nothing. Hopefully he will change his mind and we will have one soon after the wedding. I hope so.

But you gave your son a chance. That speaks more about your love for him than any thing I have read on this site. Maybe when he is older he will look you up. Thank you for being mature enough to give him the best.
Please reply with authenticity, support, and respect

Part two: The Chapter of UnBorn Death<br />
And stil I'am wounded. It has been a very long five years without my unborn death it will be like this for my continous life. Sad to say when you get an abortion, let alone let someone your (mother) force you to get rid of something so vaulable and beautiful to you suffer is a painful thing to think of everyday. God know's i want a child so bad this is not to replace UnBorn Death. This is just my instant urge, it is time to put my baby in he or she's grave and open a new chapter to new life.. a baby. I'am so heartbroken because a dilemma is haunting me. my boyfriend as of right now wanted to start the concieving process last week. yes, we did start.. But I'am so sadden because he changed his mind the last min. what am I to do? I don't know what other result it is.. he tells me if I'am not pregnant by next month around the time my period starts he doesn't want to conceive anymore... how can I make him change his mind? will this jeapardize our relationship? I just want to get prego so bad it's killing me inside, help! pls!

Hello everyone I'am Mia! Part one: The Chapter of UnBorn Death<br />
I feel like I've gone mad crazy.. I feel like I'm on the edge, and that I'm drowning before I reach the shore. Five years ago, I've gotten pregnant. I'am now 22 I was 17 at the time. When i found out I was devistated, scared, ame and my boyfriend at the time. He was also 17 at the time we were barely heading to our Senior year. I could remember like it was yesterday the air tasted stale, and all I could remember was the worst summer day of my life. All I could think about was making my mother so dissappointed in me. I hated that feeling since I was the non-Rebellion out of my older sister and I. Days and weeks flew by and all I could do was think about my belly Pertruding! but time was ticking I just had to tell my mother, And I did that very summer day. That very summer that turned into one of the worst days of my life. why?CC because my mother beat me! I just hated myself all over again. My insides hurted more than my wounds. And still til' this day I'am still wou

hiya im 19 years old since i was 16 and having to growing up from a young age ive wanted to be a mum and it hurts to find out my friends are having a child or had a child in been with my other half now for 6 weeks and if fills hard tellling him how i fill as i dont want to rush thing i no people thinking o im to young or ive got my life a head of me but i just want to be a mum what shell i do .......

Again, this sounds so much like my story. I've been with my husband for almost eight years, we've been married four months now. We literally have no problems in our marriage expect for the fact that I want children so badly and he wants to wait. I can respect his wanting to wait for a little while but I think he's just telling me that to keep putting it off. I love children and I want my own so badly. All of my friends and family are pregnant or already have one or two children. It's all I think about, I study pregnancy all the time, and I know I annoy him sometimes. We have unprotected sex, I refuse to get on birth control, and so he just does what he has to do to prevent it. All of our family wants us to start, all of our friends agree. Even his guy friends try to convince him. And he tells me he's ready to be a father but he doesn't feel financially ready. I know we can do it, we own our own house, and we're financially sound people., I have had steady income for the past four years, with a good paying job and a boss who is super understanding and he's an officer in the Army. Anyways, I know I'm going to just have to pray, and wait but I wanted to vent to someone. I just hope within the next year he changes his mind. Lots of prayers please!

I feel the same way I want a baby so bad that its all I think about! I have been married to my husband for over a year now but together for 5 years. A few months after we got married I found out that my tubes were blocked and I had to have surgery to get them removed I am so sad that all I do is cry all the time. I am only 28 and the fact of knowing this information hurts so bad and nobody understands how I feel and to top it all I am tired of seeing pregnant people because I know it will never be me plus I found out that my uterus is to small to carry a baby if I wanted to smh.

if you want a Baby so bad get a donor is not that expensive.

U guys got such similar stories to me!! I'm 23. Been wit my bf for 4 yrs.. but friends for 10. I want to be a mommy soo bad!! I bought the clearblue ovulation tests. Wish me luck!!

I have been married for almost 2 years and I can't do anything to change my husbands mind to have a baby. I was born to have lots of children. I just married the wrong guy. I don't know where I went wrong. Every boyfriend before the man I married I drilled them about being interested in having 8 children. I cry often and get upset almost every night. I was raised that you got married and had babies. I ache inside and I have a lump in my throat, because I want a baby so bad. My husband is almost 28 and he think he is too young. I ask God every night if he is punishing me. Where did I go wrong? I think I am a fairly attractive gal and I have modeled a bit here and there. I just wish I would have married someone that couldn't wait to have blue eyed beautiful babies. I just want to know what it hurts so bad inside... And how was I such an idiot not to marry someone that wanted a large family and to start right away.