I Want To Be A Mother When I Grow Up.

When I was in second grade and they asked us what we wanted to be when we grew up I said "A Mommy." Most of the other children laughed and the teacher asked me what job I wanted when I grew up, she explained that I could be a mommy, but most mommy's have jobs as well. So I said that I wanted to be a Teacher. That was the year I learned that being a stay at home mom was not something a young girl should strive to be when she grew up!! So every year I thought of what else I might like to be, besides a mother and from second grade through high school came up with this list; marine biologist, country music singer, dog walker, museum curator, magazine editor, newspaper writer, landscaper and I am sure that the list would go on if I thought long enough! The one thing I never said again when people asked me, was mother.

I always dreamed of marrying the right guy; the computer engineer, the Doctor or the lawyer. Maybe running a small at home business and get down to having the children I had aways dreamed of having. Well, as we all know life never goes as planned. A little over a year ago I married the man of my dreams and guess what!! He is not an engineer of any kind, nor a Doctor or a lawyer. He works on a dairy farm. He works crazy and long hours and has no benefits. I have moved from job to job trying to find the one doesn't bring me to tears and might have insurance. In the last two years we have had no such luck. I am ready to begin the job I have wanted since I was big enough to hold a dolly, the job of mother.

But we don't have insurance! We rent a small house with only an upstairs loft and we seem to scrape by each month on my husbands constant paychecks and the small amount of money I seem to bring in. We are trying to do things the responsible way, waiting until we have health insurance before even trying to have our first baby but it is so hard when I see young mothers just out of high school irresponsibly getting pregnant and having children with the assistance of the government. I am so bitter about it, feeling like my husband and (when I can find work) I are helping to pay for these women to have children while we are responsibly waiting to have our children. I feel angry and upset by the system but there is nothing I can do but keep my fingers crossed that the economy will soon change for the better and people will stop asking me what I want to do with my life.

Because I still want to me a Mother when I grow up.

IvaAppleBlossom IvaAppleBlossom
26-30, F
1 Response Mar 10, 2010

i am the same way; though i don't know if i thought of it as much when i was little. It wasn't until i started in the working world and did the college thing out of high school did i realize how much i wanted to be a mommy. I kept trying to fill this void that i had with jobs and careers i thought i wanted but none of them stuck and i always felt like a failure, i finally told my boyfriend of 8 years that i had no clue what i wanted to do with my life and he says to me "yes you do; you want to be a mommy and i'm doing the best i can to make that happen for you". it almost put me to tears because i knew he was right! i want to be a mommy so bad it physically hurts some times; to have all that love for something that isn't here yet. I am so lucky to have a man in my life that sees me clearer than i even see myself, and i realize now that he's working hard at his job not just for his love of his company but for his love for me as well. He knows i want to stay home with our babies and he's working so hard to make sure that happens. I love him so much! It will happen for us; we just have to have patience; it will happen and we will have our babies in our arms exactly when we're supposed to! :)