I Want To Get Good Grades, But Have Lots Of Problems...

Everyone has always told me that I look like a straight A student. I'm not. I procrastinate and get decent grades. I really want to be a good student, but I have lots of things that prevent me from being one. I am sickly, easily distracted, and have bouts of depression, which prevent me from finishing my homework early. I end up going to sleep at irregular times (usually past 12), which doesn't do much for my health. I've never been a top student and I am terrible at math. Plus, I am in the orchestra at my school (a performing arts school), which requires me to practice a lot. This year, my chemistry teacher is giving unreasonable amounts of homework, while my English teacher doesn't. So whenever I do have an assignment for English, I usually ignore it and work on chemistry or any homework from other classes instead. Then I give excuses to my English teacher and ask for extensions. When my parents start getting emails about my grades in English dropping, I tell them that it's my teacher's fault and then I turn in the work as soon as possible. I do that somewhat often and my parents are starting to get angry at my teacher for "losing my work" and "making mistakes". This quarter, I have been unusually stressed out because my English class temporarily combined with one of the other classes (taught by a much better teacher) and my workload has skyrocketed. I had a very important audition to play in, so I was practicing more than usual. As usual, I neglect my English homework and finish my other work instead. But this time, we've had so many time-consuming assignments that I haven't been able to finish them in time and turn them in as fast as I usually do. I came to school exhausted every day, and all my friends told me that I simply needed a break. In fact, I didn't even get a chance to finish and turn in the big project at the end. So now my grade in English is at rock bottom and my parents are throwing a fit. They think that it's his fault (since that's the excuse I usually use) and are completely fed up with his "mistakes", so they are sending an email complaining to him and asking him why my grades are like this. The thing is, it's not his fault. It's mine. I feel really bad for blaming things on him now, but at the same time, I don't want anyone to know the truth. My parents are slightly abusive, so I'm really scared if they find out the truth. I know it's all my fault, but I hate my teacher and I want him to change his attitude. I can't talk to any of my friends about this because most of them see me as a perfect student and they themselves are straight A students. Only one of my friends knows about my current situation and she doesn't even know all of it. When I told her, she completely freaked out and started yelling at me, which is unusual, since she's often willing to listen and help. Her reaction just shows how bad this really is. I don't know what to do anymore.
sugarrcrystals sugarrcrystals
13-15, F
Feb 27, 2012