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I'm Appaled!

I can't believe this sort of group exists.
Everybody is intitled to their own opinions sure but the fact that someone may be planning on becoming a teen mom is absurd to me. Shows like "16 and Pregnant" or "Teen Mom" are aired on television not to glamourize teen pregnancy but to do the exact opposite. But then again, young girls may be blind to this.
Why else would the show take time to tell you "Teen pregancy is 100% preventable"!!!!

Sure babies are cute when they're young but being a mom is a lot of responsibility. Teens always want things, look for drama and any way to stand out but doing so by having a baby shouldn't be the answer. You have your whole life ahead of you, why the hell are you rushing things! It's not only selfish to bring a baby into this world knowing you won't be able to provide for it or give it all the attention it deserves but totally narcissistic. I say this because teens often argue with their parents and look for any way to proove to them that they're responsible and able to take care of themselves. Well what better way of doing so by having a kid. It's your kid, the minnie you and not Bob or Jill can tell you otherwise. You're suddently in charge of someone, you're suddently in control of somebody else's life and as a teen who doesn't want that? Until reality hits you in the face and you realize that it's impossible to care for a child when you're still a child.

Now I'm not saying Teen Moms don't figure it out and love their kid. Of course they do. But what I'm saying is that I find it completely wrong to aspire to be a Teen Mom and unfortunately we have the media to thank for that, yet again...

Ashley77 Ashley77 18-21, F 25 Responses Jan 25, 2011

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Im glad this group exists because it gives us a chance to explain why they should wait.

I disagree! I think it's wonderful that there is a site like this. There are many teen girls who would make wonderful moms. If they have everything planned out and firmly in place, why not? I know some 14 and 15 year olds who would make better moms than some 30 year olds! If these girls want to work hard at getting pregnant, then more power to them!

I don't really agree. And this is why. Some young girls mature faster and want to get on with their lives. Meaning they feel that they are grown up. Not because they Are trying to grow up fast, but because they TRUELY are in that place and they are ready. Yes I fully agree that most Girls are NOT ready and shouldnt get pregnant. But that being said some are ready and will be amazing mothers. Money isn't everything as long as you are able to provide for your child. As long as you have love for your child and can provide for his or her needs, it's acceptable to the point where people should stop hating and leave it alone. I planned my pregnancy at 17. I was trying long before that. I was married at 17, became a mom at 18 and now 9 years into my relationship with my husband we are happy as can be. I was ready to grow up and start my adult life at 15. And I did. And it turned out better than I would have ever expected. Stop hating people and let everyone live their lives without being bitched at.

So...I'm not trying to cause any drama. But, I am a teen mom. I became a teen mom at 14...on accident. And I too am concerned groups like this exist. It is irresponsible. It was irresponsible of me to get pregnant in the first place. Luckily, we have supprotive families and have stayed together and stayed in school and have sacrificed an enormous amount in order to take care of Clary. But...I would have never done it on purpose. I wish I could give Clary more of my time and more toys and I wish I was more mature when I had her but I made my bed and dealt with it. But to want to be a teen mom? It's just...I do agree with her on some of these points.

I don't think ashley77 is trying to be rude. I am a teen mom, and it's hard, and in the group I Am A Teen Mom we get a lot of want to be fakes, and we find it weird because we go through all this, and wonder who would want to.

I think it's a perfect place to have my negativity, in a bunch of people who want to ruin their (and as an effect their unborn child's) lives. Maybe, just maybe, I'll change someone's mind before it's too late. And sure there might be some but before you're even old enough to legally work at a lot of jobs, I doubt it. And if they can it's because of their parents. I'm a babysitter and I love kids and that's why I hate to see girls think it's a good idea to have one when they're so young. It's not love when you make crappy decisions like that, it's just irresponsible. If you love kids, wait until you're married and have the financial stability to give your child everything it needs on your own terms. And yes it is hard work, that's my point. When teenage girls have kids, the hard work isn't on just their shoulders, it's on everyone's, including their child's.

Babies are hard work, and SOME teens, not all teens but some, are not financially stable to take care of themselves and a baby. you are entitled to have an opinion, but i honestly think you should have it in a different place. this is a group of people who would LIKE to become teen moms. take your negativity somewhere else please. thank you

Ashley77 I absolutely agree with you. I've seen little girls [yeah no matter how mature you think you are, teenagers are still LITTLE GIRLS] ruin their lives, their bodies, and their parents' lives by TRYING to have children. If you can't drink alcohol or rent a car, why would you want to take on the biggest responsibility in the world? Of course some girls don't take on the responsibility...they put it on their poor parents, the people who provided for them and now have to provide for their child's child because their child was stupid enough to let it happen but not mature enough to get their own place/provide for themselves and their ill-fated offspring. Anyone who hasnt even graduated high school shouldn't bother having children even as an adult I believe, it's just unfair to the child to have to grow up in poverty because their parent thought having a baby at age 15 would be cool. And yes, I myself am a teenage girl. I'm 19 and don't intend to have children for at least a decade. It's not just hurting yourself, it's hurting everybody, because EVERYBODY has to pay for you with the welfare checks you get because you popped one out. Teen moms [at least the ones that were idiotic enough to TRY and have a child as a teenager anyway] are dregs on society. If you think it's a good idea to have a baby as a teenager......if you really love children, DON'T HAVE ONE. Don't pass your minimal brain cells on to offspring and give them that terrible example for a parent. You know what's going to happen to you if you have a child as a teenager? Even if you love the kid and it seems great at first, eventually you and your baby daddy will break up, you'll end up a hotel maid because you don't have a high school diploma and are too busy changing diapers to go to college, you'll live in a trailer because that's all you can afford on your child support checks, and eventually, if they have any sense, your children will leave you and never look back because they don't want you dragging them down with you with your poor decision-making skills. You'll die at age 52, wrinkled and tired, addicted to crack and living with an ex-con who beats you because that's all you can get. Sound fun? Think I'm a ***** for telling the truth? Tough ****. I'm telling the truth because I've SEEN this happen. I know a girl who was my age, dropped out of high school had two kids and is working as a hotel maid, and living in a crappy apartment in the ghetto. I know another girl who is younger than me who thought it was a good idea to have a kid, got pregnant, waited too late to make any decisions about it, and had to give her baby up because her parents didn't want to raise a grandchild along with a child. It tore her apart and she has to live with the knowledge that she brought a child into the world at age 16 that she will never get to see again. Want to be like them? Go ahead but you'll be the one paying for it.

Wow i am pretty mad, some people want to get pregnant for a reason there are pluses and health pluses to getting pregnant as a teen that's why i wanna get pregnant. I never watched the "sixteen and pregnant" or "teen mom" yes i watched Juno but really i wanted to be a teen mom before i watched that. I have to say, i agree some teen moms who do drugs and alcohol etc, aren't ready while the responsibly. But so to say, the 16 years old where ready to have a baby, while physicality and if they have a job and ready to drive there child around places. Please stop stereo-typing.

I agree with you, Ashley77, but I also agree with aspects of what DearShadow is saying. Ashley, you're right - purposely having a child while you're still a child yourself is selfish, in my opinion, because you probably can't give it everyhting it needs... and it's a lot of responsibility. I mean, I got a horse once because I thought I wanted it desperately, more than anything. I had it for about two years, but it was a lot of work and responsibility, so what did I do? I sold the horse. And a horse is nothing on a child! But DearShadow, I see your point of view - you cannot help what you want. You want to be a mother and wanting something as much as you do isn't something you can just get over. And I agree, not all teenagers are the same - I'm a teenager myself, and I'm not an attention seeker on any level of the imagination...

i think with this topic everyone is going to have a certiin opion.i personly wanna have kids but i wanna be able to have experinces and be able to make mistakes where they dont envolve anorther life first because when you are that age thats the time when you are gonna ake your most mistakes and learn how too live and how to solve your own problems i think teenagers if they feel like they are mature enough and can afford to have a child then its your choice but but there expensive and you shouldnt depend on other people for your decisons and its a huge deisons it not somthing you can just think about for a couple weeks and then do it its life impacting and once its done.its done so if you want be complety sure.

i think with this topic everyone is going to have a certiin opion.i personly wanna have kids but i wanna be able to have experinces and be able to make mistakes where they dont envolve anorther life first because when you are that age thats the time when you are gonna ake your most mistakes and learn how too live and how to solve your own problems i think teenagers if they feel like they are mature enough and can afford to have a child then its your choice but but there expensive and you shouldnt depend on other people for your decisons and its a huge deisons it not somthing you can just think about for a couple weeks and then do it its life impacting and once its done.its done so if you want be complety sure.

I'd love to be a teen mom. Sure, I watch those MTV shows, but like DearShadow I wanted to be a mom before then. My mother had me when she was about 16, and yeah, she busted her *** trying to care for me, and even if she did have me at the age she is now, she still (personality wise) wouldn't be a fit mother. I guess what I'm trying to say is, most teen girls who want to be mothers, want to be mothers who work, who have great fantastic well paying jobs and a husband who'll never leave them. Me, on the other hand, expect the worst if I ever have a child today. I'd have to live in the city, get into the drug business, maybe become a prostitute, take money from the government, actually find time to spend with my kid, and such. My family specifically will not support me at all, and I'm expecting my baby's father not to either. <br />
I know this is all rambling. But I have known people who are teen moms (I'm not speaking for all teen moms) and they have trouble couping. High school is hard for me, I can't imagine it with a kid, all by myself. Hey, some teen moms can make it, and I'm pretty sure I can.

My desire to be a younger mom never had anything to do with some damn MTV shows. It doesn't glamorize teen pregnancy anyway. They make money off of showing the drama not the beauty.<br />
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Anyway, this group isn't called "I am going to become a teen mom" it's "I WANT to be a teen mom". People don't act out on all their desires. Some people still have self control. I may really want a baby even though I'm still 19, doesn't mean I'm going out there and trying. I already know my boyfriend and I are going to get married, but we're not financially able to support a child. I may feel emotionally ready, but since I know I'm going to love my baby more than anything in the world, I'm not going to bring them into this world until all aspects of my life are accounted for so I can give my baby the world. I pretty much love a baby I don't even have yet enough to not bring them into a life that I have to struggle just to meet their minimal needs.<br />
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Therefore, if you don't understand what it is to WANT something as opposed to GETTING it, just get off this page. I'm sure there's something you want, but can't have right now. Maybe a new car or place to live you have to work towards. I want a baby that I'm going to work towards now so I can support later.

In my experience, in already losing my baby... through myt own selfish decisions, I do have the desire to want to become pregnant. Not because I watch a stupid show on MTV that shows stuck up girls who want to have babies for the atrtention of the media. This post is very offensive. Sure, there may be SOME girls out there who want a baby at my age because they think of it as "Cute" or treat their child as an accessory. But you cannot stereotype all teenage girls who wish to be mothers... This is absolutely absurd. I hate the stereotypes that go along with pregnant teenagers. "They are all *****" ... what if it was rape? Or if they only slept with one person? how does that make them a ****? "They are all irresponsible" ..actually, they become 100 times more responsible than any other teen out there. Plus there is a such thing as a broken condom, or faulty birth control. It is so ignorant of anyone to stereotype like this.

Btw ashley77 you spelled "appalled" wrong.

I would just like to say that I am a teen mom and I knew that I wanted to be a mom since I was in high school. My son is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Yes it's a lot of responsibility but that goes for mother's of 16 and mother's of 30. There are lot's of plus's to being a teen mom. So thanks for that. Also you know what you want but you don't know what other's want. <br />
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“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”<br />
~Paulo Coelh<br />
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Just remember that.

My mother turned 16 the day she had me, never had another child, forgot about me when I was 7, she had to go and live the life she had missed. I had a strong, yet young father, and he cared for me, very rare in those days and very rare today. My mother would be the first one to tell anyone this "if you lie down with dogs you get fleas." Children are not fleas, so do not lie down...go to school, be a woman, be strong in your convictions, and then think of children. I was in my 30's, and I love them as they are gold, although a boot in the *** never hurt them. Babies are cute, teenagers are not, are you strong enough to raise what will eventually become a selfish, self-indulgence, moronic teen that knows it all, like yourself?

To the want to be teen moms. What if your baby is born with dementia? What if your baby is born with a hole in his/her heart?, What if your Baby is born with down syndrome? What if your baby is born with active cancer and requires medical attention lets say for one year then dies? Oh I see you will bring it to a garage like the lamborgini and tell a mechanic to fix it. <br />
Wow I agree with the teen girls that ob<x>ject themselves to having a baby. It is selfish and very imature to want a baby at your age. It will only worsen the situation of rebelious you live in. A BABY is not a car it is a human being and it only shows how imature, selfish and very out of touch with yourself and the world you really are. Stay in school, get a carreer then get married and think of having your precious family. <br />
This is not judging, this is reality check a wake up call. I see teens moms everyday and 100% have no clue and/or very much regret having given birth as it has messed up their future plans. All of them need their parents to help them and/or welfare. What a life to be on welfare, and it will only lead to more disaster in the future. <br />
The same reasonning goes with drug addicts, the first time they tryed it they all said the same I will stop anytime. Bull can't, you're hooked. Having a child is the most precious decision you will ever make. You must love that child always which mean provide for them, love them......and you must set asside your wants and needs because you have a beautifull child. Look around you'll see a child in a stroller and mom is having a smoke with a bunch of her friends. No one is attending your child. You're not interested in your child only your friends. Wake up children because you are children having children.

its like this life happens but if thay want it its up to them

thank you girlanonymous =}

HEY DEARSHADOW. MY NAME IS COURTNEY. HOW OLD R YOU? IM NOT JUDGEING AT ALL BUT YOUR SOUND REALLY MATURE. I HAD MY FIRST GURL WHEN I WAS 17. AND MY SECOND DAUGHTER WHEN I WAS 18. AND I LOVE IT. AND WHEN I DECIDED. TO GET PREGNET I WASNT FINANTUALY(HOW EVER U SPELL IT. LOL.AND I BUST MY *** EVERYDAY TO RAISE MY GURLS AND I LOVE IT. IM A SINGLE TEEN MOM AND IM DOING GREAT HAVN 2 GURLS. NO GED. AND I CAN STIL OWN 2 BAD *** CARS. AND HAV A HOUSE AND SEND MY GURLS TO GYMNASTIC CLASS. IF U SET YOUR MIND TO IT U CAN DO IT. :-)

HEY DEARSHADOW. MY NAME IS COURTNEY. HOW OLD R YOU? IM NOT JUDGEING AT ALL BUT YOUR SOUND REALLY MATURE. I HAD MY FIRST GURL WHEN I WAS 17. AND MY SECOND DAUGHTER WHEN I WAS 18. AND I LOVE IT. AND WHEN I DECIDED. TO GET PREGNET I WASNT FINANTUALY(HOW EVER U SPELL IT. LOL.AND I BUST MY *** EVERYDAY TO RAISE MY GURLS AND I LOVE IT. IM A SINGLE TEEN MOM AND IM DOING GREAT HAVN 2 GURLS. NO GED. AND I CAN STIL OWN 2 BAD *** CARS. AND HAV A HOUSE AND SEND MY GURLS TO GYMNASTIC CLASS. IF U SET YOUR MIND TO IT U CAN DO IT. :-)

What kind of work do you do? You can't even spell, and have very poor punctuation.
Let me guess, child support, and help from the state?

Add: I'm not trying to be mean. I am sincere in my questions. Do both of your girls have the same father? What will you do when your girls become teenagers, and get pregnant? (Statistically, children of teens; also have babies in their teens.) I am sincerely glad that you are happy.

*Stands up and applauds Dear Shadow*

First of all, you're stereotyping all teens. You're saying that we strive to stand out and seek drama, no that is not the case at all. If you haven't noticed every one is different.. And who said we are aspiring to be teen moms, the group is "I WANT to be a teem mom" and i made the group.. ive been feeling this way for over a year and i've been with my boyfriend for two years. If you look at my story you will see my picture. I am not TRYING to be a teen mom, i actually understand i have to be financially ready and able to provide for my child, but you assume i don't know that. why? because ALL teens are naive and jump in at the first chance they get? I'm not going to take my time to prove to you that you are wrong if you wont even take the chance to try and understand. Everyone is weird in their own way, whether they are gay, have affairs, pick their nose, want a Lamborghini, want to live by the beach, want to be famous, everyone wants something, whether it is ridiculous or not. Wanting something isn't something you can turn off. Media or no media, i've wanted to be a mother before i knew teen mom existed.