Register

I Want to Be a Writer

Spilled...

By: ShakespeareSonnet116
Written on November 8th, 2012
I am sitting on the floor, right now, this second. I'm sitting here wondering what the point is of any of it. Because now is the time to ask such questions. We never do when contented. But now on the floor, with a glass of merlot is the time. How am I supposed to switch off my feelings? How I am supposed to function like a person ought, to talk & walk & do as a person does? How? I want to write, right? I want to overcome & allow my feelings outside of myself, because to write is to spill thought & feeling. So here I am on the floor with a glass of merlot & a shattered heart, writing, because all else is gone.
By: ShakespeareSonnet116
Age: 31-35 , Female
149 people have read this story

Your Response

Please respond with authenticity, support, and respect
By clicking "Post", you confirm that you agree to the Terms of Service of Experience Project, Inc.
21 responses
  • accomplice
    accomplice

    I think there is an important clue in what you write -- "How am I supposed to ....?"

    For me, when I started letting my feelings surface, the hardest part was accepting that they were different from thoughts or actions. We know when we meet someone, we are supposed to shake their hand. We know when we think through a problem, we are supposed to think logically. But how are we supposed to feel?

    Feelings don't work that way. For me, accepting that my feelings were not logical (my favorite person's favorite oxymoron is "emotional logic"), that I didn't have to conform or impress by having certain feelings -- these were all critical realizations to allowing myself to feel freely and thus feel free.

    Nov 9, 2012
    2 likes
  • JoeyPFoxx
    JoeyPFoxx

    Ironic isn't it? Ironic that in that panic of having lost an ability, you wrote something here that clearly strikes a chord, where the reader is propelled into a world of understanding beyond the mere words.



    The gift is there and plainly visible to the rest of us.

    Nov 9, 2012
    1 like
  • damselfly
    damselfly

    I'm glad you have discovered writing. Putting down just the right words can be cathartic, and the more you do it the easier it will be to get in touch with your own truth

    Nov 9, 2012
    1 like
    • ShakespeareSonnet116
      ShakespeareSonnet116

      I've been writing since I was a child. It's revealing my inner self to those that know me that I find a tad uncomfortable. & as I made friends here I lost (I believed) the ability to express myself because the pseudonym & the girl became one.

      Nov 9, 2012
      1 like
    • damselfly
      damselfly

      It's a gift. When sometimes you lose it (which happens to us all, and often) I find that it CAN be forced; in fact writing to order is more concise and less self-indulgent. (And harder to do! LOL) But it's terrific when the ideas freely flow. Keep it up!

      Nov 9, 2012
      1 like
    • ShakespeareSonnet116
      ShakespeareSonnet116

      :)

      Nov 9, 2012
      1 like
  • RedRubies
    RedRubies

    How I wish I could hug you right now. I hate to see you struggle to function, and to see your vibrant spirit lined with cracks…

    You are clever, kind and precious; indeed one of the good ones. Know that you are appreciated and worthy, and that the one in question knows this as well. The people we let in deeply can wound us most in return; 'tis the dark irony.

    You don’t have to be strong all the time. Just be.

    Nov 9, 2012
    3 likes
    1 More Reply
  • justmeonline
    justmeonline

    Writing definitely helps me, I hope it helped you. I don't think you should try to switch off the feelings; you can't completely anyway I'm guessing. I hope you can go a little easier on yourself at work tomorrow. Maybe get there early to have more time so you can work a bit slower? Just a thought. Not much one can say about this.

    But what I will say is not grieving properly slowed my life down, got me depressed and ruined years of my life; not to mention sealed my heart. *Now* I realise and take steps to recover. Wasn't worth it in my case my friend.

    Nov 8, 2012
    3 likes
  • goliathtree
    goliathtree

    Write then. In time you will realize that all else is not gone and that we move from one thing to another sometimes only seeing the loss and not realizing the gain.

    Nov 8, 2012
    2 likes
  • Experienced321
    Experienced321

    .that shattered heart is just the internal lightining rod needed to electrify our eyes and thoughts...that conductor of your soul..

    Nov 8, 2012
    3 likes