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I Want to Be Able to Control Borderline Personality Disorder

BPD

By: Pene1opePitstop
Written on February 18th, 2013
I've always known I was different but it wasnt until a few months ago that I found out why.
My friends & family have no idea of the stuff that goes through my head. The negative reports and stigma that go with this do nothing for me other than to bring me down. Everywhere the general concensus is that I'll never have a decent relationship and anybody and everybody should steer clear.
Just for the record, I dont want it, I dont need it & I sure didnt ask for it. Its the unfortunate result of the way I percieved my life as a child and one or two incidents which will have been more than enough for anybody in isolation.
I wont go down for this despite that nasty little voice that tells me my life is pointless so I may as well.
I just dont need anyone else to add weight to it.
By: Pene1opePitstop
Age: 41-45 , Female
153 people have read this story

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    MidgardFalls
    MidgardFalls

    youre doing well I was diagnosed with Bipolar BPD ..then schizophrenia..which they dropped 2 years later and made me BPD again :/ but seriously you have the right approach hope it continues to improve :)

    May 19
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      Pene1opePitstop
      Pene1opePitstop

      Hi! I have a friend recently diagnosed as bipolar. It probably goes a long way to explaining why we get on so well. Sounds like you have been through the mill too.. I do find that understanding why goes along way to helping...

      May 19
      2 likes
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    luckylassie
    luckylassie

    i know what you mean when you say your family has no idea. that takes a lot to accept. you sound very positive to me, at least going in a positive direction. good power to you:)

    Mar 11
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    SURVIVALINSTINCT
    SURVIVALINSTINCT

    Hey G girl. I understand you wholeheartedly because i just recently found out that I too suffer from BDP. Not being able to trust people and get close to anybody really is difficult, needless to say experience some decent positive emotions. Trusting others is difficult and i generally am not interested in new friendships cause i know where this leads too. One thing that therapy and social institutions taught me is that FEELINGs ARE NOT FACTS BUT IT'S A FACT THAT WE FEEL. Therefore a good idea would be to check yourself when you have negative emotions about somebody or something and try to ask yourself why you feel that way. Also a good idea is to keep reinforcing positive sayings to yourself out-loud such as this TODAY I WILL BE HAPPY AND I WILL NOT THINK NEGATIVE. You see i keep saying little prayers in my head over and over again. I am not saying that things are peachy and great afterwards but what i mean is that we have to learn all over again how to think and perceive nearby environment. Keep in touch. Greg

    Mar 7
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    Simplified
    Simplified

    I believe we all have those feelings from time to time, but it sounds like its more intense for you you must feel isolated because of it. I hope things get better for you and that you never feel alone. You can let me know if you'd like to talk about things, anything at all.

    Feb 26
    1 like