Trying to Gain Some Control...

So...I'm actually diagnosed as having borderline personality disorder and also bipolar II rapid cycling. I have battled doctors and loved ones over both diagnoses for years and haven't actively sought treatment in the past 8 years since I was diagnosed...until now.

I have started working on a dbt workbook that was recommended to me since dbt and cbt therapy is not available in the small town where I live. So far, I am having a hard time getting some of the skills down while I have amazingly adapted and put some of the skills to use on my own prior to reading the book. I guess that I have been dealing with it for so long that I developed some coping skills on my own in order to survive.

I am also trying to get meds for the bp II. What really sucks is that bpd "perceived" threats and intense feelings and fears can act as a trigger for a major depressive cycle on the bp end. The meds should at least help to take the edge off of any depression that I may encounter as the result of bpd thoughts and feelings while I try to get that demon under control.

Good luck to all of you out there who are facing this monster and trying to get help. It is really painful to live with and I know that it also destroys families, relationships, career aspirations, and can destroy your life. That is why I have decided to try to get help and take control of my life. I am tired of my emotions controlling me.

kiragirl79 kiragirl79
36-40, F
1 Response Oct 16, 2008

Hi Kira, As you know I understand where you are at and really feel for you. It must be pretty intense having bipolar and BPD. I have often argued that point with my psych but he says no I just have bpd with bipolar tendencies. Meaning basically that I am not bipolar. He tried me on epilim recently with disastrous results which I have just blogged about. I thought I had had a stroke.<br />
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Keep up the good work Kira and your right we don't want our emotions controlling us.<br />
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Hope you are well at this time.<br />
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Luv Angelcat